Last Breath of Goodbye

Composed in Free Style...

Last Breath of Goodbye

What was left from before,

powerfully merciless;

like dark, ominous clouds

smothering every semblance

of inner light,

has now returned...

That hellhole of your love 

you cast me into,

every inch of my skin crawled,

left the carmine softness

of my heart charred,

my soul burned!

Our last breath of goodbye

lingers in the air …

waiting,

wishing,

wanting,

for me to accept

not having you by my side.

That flame I kept alive;

those embers,

like hot desert winds ~ dried,

sparking back to life...

leave me no choice, 

except to cast them

...all aside!

Thank you J Todd Underhill for giving this piece a voice

 https://soundcloud.com/user-557255780/coffee-with-underhill-05-01-2017

Author's Note

Yet another learning experience of writing poetry with Richard :)

Reviews

[Mr.Writer]

Breathtaking experience... wow... omg...! This was amazing!

"What was left from before,
powerfully merciless;
like dark, ominous clouds"
Very descriptive and flows well!
Keep it up! :)
Your learning experience with Richard are working very well :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Well, as of now, they're on hold lol
Thank you for liking this one too. I appreciate your words 😊

[Mr.Writer]

Lol no problem :D

[danielle.]

Beautiful, sad words.
Perfectly expressed.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it 😊

[Ana B.]

I love how you painted this subtle wind of inevitability . Sensual and alluring piece, with bittersweet bites. :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for the appreciation, Ana! I'm glad you liked it :)

[OhSnapShley]

Beautiful!

Nothing else needed. This piece is freely perfect ;)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for the appreciation, OSS! 😉
I'm glad you liked it 😊

[emmajoy]

'That flame I kept alive; ~ those embers, like hot desert winds .. .. '

A tragedy of the heart told with such raw phrases. The slide into its finish is near example
to the reader but, if factual, might/must have been painful for the poet. If fiction, you've captured the pain more than graphically.

Your use of words is exceptional. YumnaKay, never too few, never too many. Perhaps via Richard's guidance?

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I would indeed give Richard the credit of bringing out this side of me 😉
This piece wasn't fictional, Emma, so yes, this was somewhat painful to write out these feelings.
Thank you so much for your kind words and appreciation of this piece. Really means a lot to me 😊

[emmajoy]

Sharing is often the best bandage, especially when emotions ring a bell. x

[Dr. YumnaKay]

So rightly said...

[Richard🖌]

How sweetly you honor me, Yumna, with your mentions of my name … but, the real honor and privilege is not only working with you on learning, but in reading and being embraced by the wonder of where your words are derived from within your mind, heart, spirit, and amazingly depthless well of creative ideas and emotions.
Well, I'm smitten … what else to say, but "Thank you ever so sincerely and warmly, Dear, Fine Lady-Poet!" ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You always say things to leave me speechless, Richard! Thank you for being there with me in this exciting learning journey and for guiding me all along 😊😊

[Richard🖌]

Holding your hand … as you pull me along! ✨

[matrixmark]

WOW!
What a piece, I normally don't read poety as you know, but I am starting to dip my toes into it a little more. This piece had haertbreak written all over it it, and the words you used....om my. Full of anger, frustration and sadness.
The last verse - QUALITY written all over it.

I know I dont normally review poems and I am more of a techinal reviewer with stories So from me there will be no change this/change that.

I will leave you with this instead.

DONT CHANGE ANYTHING. THIS WAS AMAZING.

Mark.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Oh woww! That's a first 😂😂 I'm so glad you finally found a piece of mine which you didn't see the need to change 😉 😂 this is me kidding 😛
Thank you so much, Mark! You know your words mean a lot to me 😊😊

[matrixmark]

lol. Very stiking piece.

Mark.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Oh but do they go away? Or will the wind bring them forth once again when they blow in your direction, Im sure you will be gone by then, under the sands, or gravel. Well, atleast they cant reach you if you wish to hide.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Interesting perspective.. Thank you for your insight here. I appreciate it :)

[Jessica Lima]

Bulls eye on this one. You know just how to make people see and feel your poem. Great as always.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

That's a great compliment! Thank you so much, Jessica. I'm glad you liked it 😊😊

[Cameron Berry]

This was a good piece. It was well-colored and used good imagery, as well as strong analogy to harsh elements. It reflects on loss very well.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

[Stacy Purvis]

This is too awesome..."hellhole" lol...been there! Keep it up. Thank you for sharing.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you, Anastasia. Glad you liked it 😊