Shield

Ramblings of a raging mind...

I shield my heart 

in the hopes that when the time comes 

I'll find the true purpose. 

I stray away from people, 

denying myself the simple act 

of being happy for once. 

Walking away from you. 

Because I don't have the courage to tell you 

that I've stopped feeling, caring 

or even thinking about you. 

I shield my mind 

from the raging thoughts that keep creeping up, 

telling me to face my fears. 

Those fears that keep me awake, 

late at night. 

That fear of falling in love with you. 

That fear of being hurt 

if it doesn't work that way. 

Because I don't have the courage to tell you 

that if even for one second, 

I did see our future together.

I shield myself 

away from you in the hopes 

that it's all for the greater good. 

The only courage I have is to tell you, 

that I'm bored. Bored of you. 

And although it makes me cruel 

in your eyes, 

it's better that way 

than to have myself heart broken. 

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

We know every word from one's pen must first reside in the mind, even if it might express pure fiction, but in having read this piece, it is my sense that much of the author is revealed in your prose-laden commentary, Yumna, as I feel it is actually reflective of your own experience … for me, it's just to genuine feeling not to be.
And, for me in perceiving you, this makes it even sadder to dwell on such hurt and fear of affection and commitment; but, it's completely relatable, too, as it could well have flowed from my own pen, albeit not as clearly direct and passionately expressed.
Your grammar, syntax, line breaks, powerfully expressive word choices, and punctuation are pristine in form and ease of read, flowing seamlessly within each verse, connecting reader and poem beautifully.

Though, filled to the brim with pain, doubt, unrequited need, and fear … I thoroughly admire, respect, and enjoyed reading this excellent piece, Yumna … thank you sincerely! ⁓ Richard : )

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're right when you say this isn't fiction. For this write was indeed brought on by a personal experience. But this made me form a decision which helped me be at ease of mind..

I'm glad the feelings came out okay ( and a little relieved that you didn't see the need to edit in this one 😉😛)

Thank you so much for your kind words, Richard! I truly appreciate it 😊

[Richard🖌]

It's all your fault I'm so smitten … LOL!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hahah I don't feel guilty at all 😂😂😉

[Richard🖌]

Me either! 😜

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Oh but even a shield can sometimes seem too heavy to hold up, perhaps you will see that someone else can provide protection

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Interesting thought. I like that 😊

[Michael G. Smith]

Pain the cousin to love extracts pure poetry from our souls and rerouted through mind to hand unveils and brings further existence to it (pain/love). As here in your verses it as an entity can burrow itself into another such as me (the reader) through my eyes, to mind then heart. This is where your words live on. And I and others wait for more.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I totally agree with you! Couldn't have said it better myself. Love and pain go synonymous.
Thank you for the appreciation of my words, Michael! It means a lot to me 😊

[Michael G. Smith]

That's what us poet brothers are here for, your welcome.

[Giulia King]

Omg Yumna, is this poem about me? I can relate to every single line. So weird how much alike we are. I put a shield too. I guess people do that because they don't want someone to break their heart.
"I stray away from people,
denying myself the simple act
of being happy for once." Favorite lines! Great job on this one, dear friend

[Dr. YumnaKay]

No it's not weird 😉 it's a common occurring 😛
This really was about me. I think it's better that way..

Thank you so much, Gullia! Your appreciation means a lot to me 😊💜

[Isabella Ivy]

Nice! We should shield ourselves! True :) I.I.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Indeed we should. Thank you 😊

[Isabella Ivy]

You're most welcome! :)

[Diamond]

This is in the same lines as my "poetry flows". But on a different note. Yumna, get your heart broken...fall and see yourself raising like the phoenix. I love this writing though. First step is always to feel whatever you are being given to feel. I think that you can put this writing in a poem format with minor changes...just my humble opinion.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I went to your profile to check 'poetry flows' and I agree there's a similarity between the two..read moreI went to your profile to check 'poetry flows' and I agree there's a similarity between the two..
Having my heart broken is something I can not afford at the moment. I prefer to be on the other side. Maybe it's because I've already experienced it.. Recovery isn't always that smooth, Queen..
I've been thinking about making changes to turn this in poetry. Thank you for the suggestion 😊 and I'm glad you liked it 😊

[Diamond]

Recovery is not smooth, check my beast with the bottle....Catch you tomorrow:)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I read that already.. have been forming my mind for a review ;)

[This Guy (Again)]

Powerful! Gives me the vibe which describes how life can be when dealing with relationships. Great work!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Exactly! Thank you so much! I'm glad you understood the underlying emotions here. 😊

[Ardra]

Mmmmm sometimes it's the most difficult decision to take....but if we ca. Find the courage to do it then we are saved for sometime at least :)
Enjoyed reading it yumna...good one

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Yes, I completely agree.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts here, Ria! I'm glad you liked it 😊

[Phill Oz O'fee]

A shield of denial can only remain a veneer of protection for a short time. Enviably the realisation a relationship has ended will break through this flimsy barrier and we are confronted with home truths. Your composition summaries, in a wonderfully expressive write, the matter I have just outlined. Good write …

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Sometimes this flimsy barrier is what keeps us falling apart...
Thank you for your thoughtful review here and the appreciation.

[Kesha]

I was in a similar situation when I was younger, it seems cruel but you just have to be honest with them. This piece was so raw and honest, I loved how you portrayed your feelings in this one.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Sometimes, we've got to do things which make us sound cruel although we don't mean it..
Thank you, Kesha, for understanding the feelings here. I appreciate it :)

[Kesha]

Yes, exactly. And you are very welcome :)