Harsh Reality

How hard it is when you don't want to forget a person yet you don't want to remember them either.. 

Depending too much on someone takes you nowhere..only to a hellhole from where you can never emerge carefree and happy.. 

I realized this after too many hard lessons but I'll be strong now.. I won't depend on you..you don't matter to me the way you did before.. And I hate myself for letting you in too much.. But I love you too much to let you go.. Because I'm selfish to the core.. 

One thing I have learned though.. I don't expect anything from you now.. Whether you're here or not, I realize you have your reasons but still it's hard for me to accept this. 

The one thing that pains me the most is that you're the person I loved selflessly and this love has cost me too much.. I don't believe in love anymore..it's basically just needs and desires you want from someone.. And I hate myself for needing you by my side.. 

Some wishes are better off being wishes and we're fools to even think that anyone in this world loves us.. Because no one does.. It's just you and you alone in this world, trudging along until you die.. 

I hated being emotional.. And now it seems I'm everything emotional and I hate myself for that too.. I don't know what I've done to have earned this.. It feels restless as hell and I've got no one to share, no one to tell how I feel..not even you.. But you wouldn't know this.. You don't know how it feels.. 

I'm trying to be the same me I was before I met you.. Maybe it will help me survive.. I'm trying to forget you because you have too..

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

I think the harshest epiphany is that nothing is for free after all.
The deeper the experience the more we will (eventually) pay.
Life be's like "Want happiness...pay me!" - "Want love...what it didn't work out! F**k you, pay me!" - "Want to feel so you can write. PAY ME!"

I wonder if this is why dentist s all seem very eager to drill down that little bit more than the anaesthetic was designed to numb?

Great piece of writing - one can literally feel the molasses clinging to the shoes as we try to extricate ourselves from feeling this.
:)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Well yes, life does teach us hard lessons.. Thank you for your thoughts here..
On a lighter note, I didn't think good about the dentists as a kid but now, being one makes me realize the ultimate result is always good 😉

[Tony Jordan]

I think kids are coming round to the fact that a nice smile is something to aspire to. I think they are growing up so early now that they notice these things much earlier in life.
I was just kidding about the dentists - of course they are doing great job!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hahah I know. I've come to regard you as never being serious you know 😂 which is kinda good for all of us here 😉😛

[Tony Jordan]

haha - you are too kind. Thank you. I appreciate you too Dr.

[APOORVA]

dilemma.
the worst of feeling

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I agree! Thank you for adding your thoughts here :)

[Jon G.]

YumnaKay, There is some strong emotion in this piece. If you're writing what you know then you are going through some tough times and I thank you for sharing a piece of it with us. If not, then you've done a masterful job replicating the sensations of someone who is going through a tough time.

The two first paragaphs seem to belabor a point. They're both good independently but together they seem incongruous. Try picking just one or the other, or move one later in the piece.

I love the dichotomy of first appearing to overcome the struggle and the admitting to being consumed by it. Maybe think about replicating that cadence more purposefully throughout the piece. You have used that technique to great effect in this piece and I found myself wanting more.

Last phrase: "because you have too." Was that meant to be "because I have to"? If that's the case then one idea might be to explain why... Why do you have to? What happens if you don't? What is compelling you, or forcing you, or making you feel trapped by that choice?

Again, well done and thank you for sharing with us.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Jon, Thank you for your take on this piece. I appreciate it very much..

I rarely write what I feel but this piece here portrays exactly how I felt at the time I wrote it. So I agree, it does seem haphazard and uneven at places but so is the case with emotions flowing one on another.

I will try to rework this piece though it's certainly not the best one of mine :p

That last line is meant like it is. It means I;m trying to forget the said the said person because they have done the same.. I can understand how it must have read hence the confusion..

Thank you for your time here! I greatly value it :)

[Jon G.]

"have too." That was my fault for misreading. That is a powerful line when I read it properly. :) And your point about the haphazardness reflecting your state is well taken. The structure you've chosen does enhance that feeling as I reread it. Thank you for replying!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'm glad I was able to clear your confusion here! Always feels good to read people's perspectives ☺

[antrickch chitranshi]

PLS REVIEW MY STORY ALSO
WHO WAS THAT MAN?

[antrickch chitranshi]

VERY GOOD THESE ARE HARSH BUT REALITY
IT IS VERY TRUE

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you! I'm glad you like it ☺

[Lorry]

Sometimes wishes are best left to be wishes. Like a moth to a flame, we long for that light, yet it burns us so badly. Will we ever learn? Maybe one day is what keeps us all going, so we keep playing, hoping this time is our time, again.
We all have those we need to forget, yet linger.We can hope one day they find a cure for love, which will no doubt be available in the app store :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Interesting thought! If only it was as easy as finding it in the appstore we would be the happiest souls 😉
Thank you for your insight here, Nemo! Truly appreciate it ☺

[Lorry]

you're welcome. :)

[Diamond]

An honest and beautiful write.

"Its just you and you alone in this world, trudging along until you die.."

Embracing this thought, I believe is the greatest step to becoming whole. However, chances for struggle are still there. Journey back to the source of Love is a very tough one.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

It takes too long for that to finally sink in..
Thank you for your thoughts here and for liking! Truly appreciate it ☺