Illusion

What's it like living with an illusion? 

When you deeply love a person and suddenly you're left to live without them, it feels as if you're no longer alive... as if you're floating... yes, you can see what is happening around the world but you can't feel it... as if you've gone numb... immune even... 

It's not as if a part of you has gone away with that person...it's like a part of that person is with you... constantly - reminding you that they're there... but of course they aren't... it's an illusion. 

You see them everywhere... I know I do... In every person.. 

I try to see your resemblance... even compare what you would have done, had you been here... 

And you go mad... isolated from the world... you can never find them in anyone... 'cause it's an illusion you created... 

There is no escape. You feel trapped inside your own body.

And you know --- that at this time of life, if you screamed, even you wouldn't hear your voice...

Author's Note

The only piece I wrote these past few days...

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

It is deadly powerful Yumna. Screaming and not even hearing one's own voice is a numbness of epic proportions.
I can see the POV - we hold onto the memory of someone so hard that it seems as if they are with us because we reinforce the memory by revisiting again and again - clinically speaking, strengthening the various snyapses and neurons and pathways that contain the memories. I guess that's why time is said to soften the pain; actually it could be physiological, A loved one departs, the memories are visited less, the neurons and pathways deplete and the pain association reduces.
To some it is all too real and to some it is all an illusion.
A very deep return for you to the WC.
Are you now Dr. YumnaKay?

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Those neurons have been giving a tough time to me lately 😛
I think one can bear the thought of someone departing from the world far better than they can of someone drifting apart while living...
Technically, I am a doctor but officially awaiting the result😛 I will be a dr. in 15 days time i.e after my exam result comes 😊
Thank you for your insight here, Tony! And for liking too☺

[Tony Jordan]

Yes, there's a finality to the forever kind of departing, yes that's so true. The other kind you mention is more painful in a way.
You're very welcome Dr. YumnaKey the First.
CONGRATS !!!!

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hahah thank you Tony! Sure you don't want a dental checkup? 😂😂😂

[Tony Jordan]

Already touting for business lol.
You will be a very rich dentist methinks.
I need a mental checkup not a dental checkup...haha

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Nah not business, just a friendly reminder that this site has a free dental consultant lol 😛
read moreNah not business, just a friendly reminder that this site has a free dental consultant lol 😛
I need a mental check up too hahah..

[Tony Jordan]

So if I rig a robot arm to my laptop with a tray of dental instruments and a drill with some burrs you could remotely do any work i need done.
;p

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Lol I said consultant😛

[Tony Jordan]

Oooh already getting to be a tiny bossy boots - God help us all !!
;p

[Ghania]

Yeah. When a loved one leaves, making you like that. Making you heart-less. And Him, carrying Two hearts. One yours, one his. :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Nicely worded. Thank you for reading and reviewing (:

[Ghania]

Thanks! And of course, you're welcome. :)

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Oh no not another sappy moment

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hey this isn't sappy lol

[Lovecraft]

A Ghost or form of someone you loved that has left, willingly or unwillingly. Seeing a familiar face in a crowd for a mere heartbeat or two of time and losing it just as suddenly.

It can be an overwhelming experience of feelings that flood you, nearly drowning you. But sometimes it can leave you feeling not much of anything.

It's an honestly beautiful expression of the bleakness that can invade Love itself, a passionate love that can make you mad if you allow it.

Good work, Kay! The emotions displayed here are brutally honest and extremely effective.

Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all is oftentimes not quite true.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Given my way, I would choose to never love at all..
Thank you for your thoughts here, L! I appreciate it ☺

[Lovecraft]

No problem. Never loving at all would be so much easier and simpler.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Yeah but life isn't 😑

[Lovecraft]

Unfortunately so.

[Kesha]

A very powerful write. You definitely feel the strong emotions in this piece. Nicely written

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hey, thank you so much! I'm glad you could feel the emotions here! Truly appreciate it ☺

[Kesha]

You are very welcome! :)

[Giulia King]

This piece is so powerful and good Yumna! Good job on this one! You really captured all the emotions. And I feel exactly the same way..

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I think most of us do feel like this at some time of life.. How to get out of feeling like this, is what I have yet to learn..
Thank you for liking this one, Gullia ☺

[PhoenixDown]

This is exactly what it is like

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I'm glad you can relate! Thank you for checking up on this one ☺