Voices

Voices

A Chapter by Dr. YumnaKay
"

Rewritten.

"
The cold wind will blow;  
but the memories never go,
 
away to the land where 
none can be felt or heard ...

sitting here, I can hear the voices, 
calling my name in the wind - that blows. 

Neither feeling nor hearing, 
here I am; 

waiting for someone to show 
the grief --- within.


© 2018 Dr. YumnaKay


Author's Note

Dr. YumnaKay
This is the first ever poem of my life ;)

My Review

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V
But a good one because of its sincerity. The words are simple but on point, the images behind them vivid. There's a sharpness in the ache which emanates from your words. The cold of wind adds to the atmosphere, grayish as the grief within.

One thing I'd like to suggest: I think it'd read better if you used will instead of would or just the usual present tense.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

Thank you, Vanessa. I appreciate your words on this one.
About the suggestion, I think you'r.. read more
V

8 Years Ago

I do 😊 You're welcome then.



Reviews

Ah- yumna, this is EXACTLY why I like going through your poetry. I find little treasures like these hidden among the others. It's definately is worth the search :P
it's a short and sweet song that screams feeling. I love that.
:D

-Sarah

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

6 Years Ago

I'm glad you found this one of mine, Sarah. Thank you so much for appreciating. x
Well, for your very first poem ever, it looks like you had a beautiful art ever since

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

7 Years Ago

Thank you for recognizing this art, Sire :))
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
V
But a good one because of its sincerity. The words are simple but on point, the images behind them vivid. There's a sharpness in the ache which emanates from your words. The cold of wind adds to the atmosphere, grayish as the grief within.

One thing I'd like to suggest: I think it'd read better if you used will instead of would or just the usual present tense.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

Thank you, Vanessa. I appreciate your words on this one.
About the suggestion, I think you'r.. read more
V

8 Years Ago

I do 😊 You're welcome then.
I actually like this one, I remember my first poem, it was truly awful lol! But this one isn't, it was very nicely done :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

Thank you, Kesha! Probably the truest ever I've written haha 😛
I'm glad you liked it 😊
Kesha

8 Years Ago

You are welcome :)
sublime that scenic beauty of a vast stretch of scarcely vegetative land. glowing in the dim moonlight envisioned the silence. was really touching.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

Thank you! I'm glad it touched you 😊
Yumna,
It may well be your first, but most definitely not your worst.
Formed and wrapped in its poignant depths shines forth a person of great vision and feeling … effulgent exemplification to the fine and revered poetess you'll come to be, the artist we all admire and enjoy.
Who could help sighing from such as,
"Sitting here I can hear the voices calling
My name in the wind that blows
Neither feeling nor hearing …"
My gosh, Yumna, this whole piece is not only soul-gripping, it speaks in full, rich poetic voice … a harbinger of that which will flow from your gifted pen.

My warmest, most grateful hug of sincere thanks, for sharing You! ⁓ Richard

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

You're much too kind, dear Sir!

I find myself content that under the wings of writer.. read more
Richard🖌

8 Years Ago

it is You whom inspire my gracious comments, Yumna, and anytime you may so wish it, I am always read.. read more
Well done, Yk. This comes across with just the right amount of mystery to get one thinking. Pretty good for a first write. Good job.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

Thank you Ted! I'm glad you liked my first attempt 😊
One of your best poems, Yumna :)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

Hey, thanks Gullia! Compliment indeed for me! ☺
Best stanzas here:

Sitting here I can hear the voices calling
My name in the wind that blows
Neither feeling nor hearing here I am
Waiting for someone to show
The grief within_

I Like this one.. your work is evolving... your flow..your sense of rhythym is gaining strength and the work is getting deeper... good work..
...Misty

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

M. L. F.

8 Years Ago

Lolll... funny. THIS one is nice... so.are the others but this one is great. :)
Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

Well thanks again! Try not to compliment me too much coz it gets to the head 😉
Maybe that.. read more
M. L. F.

8 Years Ago

Lolol... ok! ;)
Very true, simply written but made me pause for awhile and made me think. :) Yumna

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

Err think what? 😂
Thank you, Ricco! Means alot 😊
YanZeros

8 Years Ago

You're welcome! I mean the scenery your words painted.
Dr. YumnaKay

8 Years Ago

Ohh right 😊

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Added on October 22, 2016
Last Updated on September 23, 2018


Author

Dr. YumnaKay
Dr. YumnaKay

Glasgow, Scotland, United Kingdom



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