Prologue

​

How it feels to live a life built in proving that you worth to live in this word? 
I think you don't really want to know it. Because if you can't escape from this

​,​

 you are fucked.

I always felt like I'm nobody. I have no place ​i​n this word. And people around me made me feel more like this. They just used me because I let them use me. 
Yes,​ you can say that I was stupid to do so but if you think like this that means you can't understand me. 

Still I'm not blaming you being this lucky. 

Yes, lucky because if you can't understand why I let people use me that means you had friends around you, you had a happy family, you were successful in your life, you had someone who loved you. 

Am I right? 

See I didn't have these. I just wanted to have these things. 

A lot of people can't appreciate the others around them because they are used to it. They never think about how would it be to leave without their friends, family and others.

But there some who never had this. 

Like me.. 

I just wanted to have some friends

​,​

 someone who loves me

​ - 

I

​

 just

​ wanted​

 be happy for a while. 

I just wanted to be someone..

But when I thought I finally have someone, that wasn't true either..

He wasn't a bad guy. No. He was a really nice guy. He cared about me, he always wanted to make me smile, he loved me.

Still, he had to die with me..