the tucker family

a story of romance,funny, and family

in a place called 87 round street there is a teen that is 16 and who has 9 sisters and 2 brothers.this girl was going to go thru love,action,and FAMILY -__-".This teen's name was yue.she was only 16 and she was walkin one day to school with her younger sister tugoma.togama was only 15 and she was allway's the quiet one other that her sister yumiko.yumiko was the one who was happy evrey day.other that her sister who ran over people with a roller and who was also crazy about squirrls?her name was rin, she was allway's to happy and crazy.and there is kisa and sasna they are the story tellers and also the smart one's ,then there are her 2 brother's kenny the cool one,and edrick the funny one . and then there's her oldest sister koda.she was the one who drew and the one who solves our problems :).at school in class 1 hd our class u can say there were new student to the class u cant belive it but edward elric,alphonse elric,envy humonclus,and roy mustang +yukik san. wow soo many new studnets to our class i cant name all of them.koda and the rest of them freaked out but me the 16 year old girl .and all i ever did was do work and never crouded up to the new kids expecily edward uh no thank u . after class it was lunch time.during liuch all of her sister's wrer at at the bigest table the 19 people even tho there it was only 12 of them. wopp's.edward and his brother and freinds sat with them. the moment they came yue left to hang out with her freinds insted of her sister's.after school yue went walking home insted of taking the bus with her sisters.when she got home her sister asked why did u not sit with us at lunch.yue said because. i didint want to go and see those new kids.for some odd resone yue did not trust any of them.

              to be continude

Reviews

[crystal]

thanx for the info.

[~* Darkness Light *~]

nice job, maybe you should split it into paragraphs. you should make a book if "it is continued"
oh, and here is how u spell sasna........... SASANA!!!! GET IT RIGHT!!!!! go for gramma check too :)

[Athena Ramos]

interesting~ good start on introducing the characters.
but i think you might want to cut things into paragraphs just to make it clearer :) and another thing, if it's to be continued, i suggest you turn this into a book so the continuation will not be separated when you decide to write other stories or poems :)

[Meat of Dog]

An interesting synopsis of your story. I like the descriptiveness of each individual., giving a good idea of what they are like before the actual story begins.

other suggestions:
-I would be a good idea to run your work through a grammar and spell check, such as MS word (depending on what you use to write in). It will fix extra letters typed and forgotten spaces between sentences.