Monkey Monkey In The Cage

March 16th

Monkey Monkey In The Cage

By your daughter, “Peanut”

You make me sad

I feel so blue

I feel like i don’t know what to do

You make me mad

make me wanna go back to 5

Scream and kick and yell and cry

Where are you? I’m 16.

Standing right in front me of me, but you don’t see.

Why don’t you listen? I was too weak to speak so i pulled you near, pulled you by your hair down to my level because i needed you to hear me whisper

That i'm so sad, i'm so blue, i’m so mad

Mad at you.

You make me cry, you leave me bruised.

Bruises that don’t go away

I try to wipe them away

I try to write, think, cry, apologize

But they stay

Part of me feels guilty, part of me takes the blame

This is all in my head, i’m playing a game

Part of me is screaming still, from the time i was 5

But not for your attention, not for your care

my nightmares aren’t ones where you aren't there, you only haunt me when i’m awake

Im screaming because I have so much to say, and i keep it away because i know if i told you things wouldn’t change.

You’d just play your part, the victim

Behind the scenes, the open door, the sunshine and the galore of “family”

That knife in your voicebox would murder me

You’d burden me

Convict me, charge me guilty and throw me in jail

Lock me up, push me away, throw peanuts at me

Then you’d say, “Monkey, Monkey in the cage”

All of me cries, i am in pain.

All of me begs for a change when you aren’t awake.

All of me tries to be better, but not for your sake.