Desired: Edited by YumnaKay

Just a little more vigorous

The hands of ink 

that spill no shame 

a name ... to claim.

And though the storms 

roar deep inside, 

I lose my aim.

When in the midst 

of bulbs so bright,

A silhouette grows long.

And though I know 

I shouldn't sin 

... I trade right ~ for wrong.

Oh, what doeth I, 

with such hands 

that spill out blue?

Of all the juices 

spilling from your lips, 

I sipped them too -- 

For, hunger starves;

the heart inside

I cant hold out.

And when you 

reach in closer still ...

I'm sure you'll shout.

The passionate battle 

cries ---

to the drums inside

You should have known, 

from my desires ~

your body cant hide.

Reviews

[Kesha]

I've always loved the way Yumna pieces her poetry together, had her do a couple of mine too, great piece and loved the way she did this!

[Kathryn Smith]

YOU GUYS!!!!!!!! This is really good. I really liked whoevers idea was to make the "ink" faded. So well written! There's so much hidden sexual tension in this..(and I think that sort of thing can be turned into art such as this.)
I love it!!

[apennylate]

Juices spilling and wrongs being right... The hands of ink are a juicy gong to drum... Desires hidden, or in plain sight... A passionate write, with an edit that both leaves the original uncompromised, and highlights the depths of desire penned with an artistic flair... Bravo to both...

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

It seems I came across your edition by Yumna and loved how it unfolded, so I thought that a shot of her edition would come out just as good, glad you came by, it seems we have a string incommon :)

[apennylate]

A string? Hah, I am not sure I follow on that one... But yes, Yumna gives a great shot of editing snazz to a piece. It came out just as good, if not better, my friend... Beautiful writing, keep at it...! Thanks again for appreciating...

[Dr. YumnaKay]

This was definitely interesting for me to edit and I'm happy to see the innovations with the font colours you made in this which makes it a very nice read in my eyes :)
I agree with TJ about the arrogance part ;) seems like you're too sure of yourself haha :p

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Thank you for editing this Yumna, you are always willing to take on new leaps

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Of course! Always :) welcome 😊

[Tony Jordan]

It can be hard to focus sometimes. Distractions and even the fog of life can reduce the light in the lens to a mere speck. It's then that we appreciate every spiritual photon.
There is an aspect of regretful arrogance to the ending. Almost as if the speaker can't help themselves.
Very interesting write Drift.
Thanks to Yumna for the RR

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Much Appreciation, thank you sir, your always intriguing with comments