May I?

Short and sweet

May I?
Undress the beauty of your thoughts
Remove the layers of the one dressed rose
See beneath your beautiful weak spot

May I?
Kiss your shadow as you walk away,
Touch the reflection as you carry on your day
Intercept your dream for my image to stay

May I?
Take the heart that is no longer yours
Breathe the air traced at the closing door
Ask you for nothing yet wanting more.

You may,
Close your eyes and believe in my voice
Give yourself freely still having a choice
Break the silence without any noise

You may...

Author's Note

Not serious just off the top of my head

Reviews

[Dr. YumnaKay]

'Just off the top of your head'? Well that's being modest...
The last line 'you may' comes off as kinda arrogant 😉 as if you know the stakes you hold...

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Its just being a little daring ;)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Daring or demanding?....

[hcarson]

wow..love this one. lovely flow, and sentiment. excellent job

[hcarson]

i just seen i have reviewed this before and liked it then as well lol...apoologies..i have memory issues lol

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Hahaha its OK. Lol. I'm glad you dropped by

[M. L. F.]

.... Very nice.... Have you ever tried your hand at fiction before? You have a way with words and I have a sneaking suspicion you might just be good at it. Sorry if that was too invasive of me, but this poem was really deep and some of the stanzas were stunning to the ear...

Take the heart that is no longer yours
Breathe the air traced at the closing door
Ask you for nothing yet wanting more.

Gorgeous....

Also:

Close your eyes and believe in my voice
Give yourself freely still having a choice
Break the silence without any noise

Really nice...
.. Misty

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Thank you Misty. Yes fiction is my base and I am in love with it, its world is so abundant to many new ideas. Thank you for reading

[M. L. F.]

Yes, poetry is fun, but fiction is the fantastic exploration of everything. Every sense should be alerted if it's good... ;)

[M. L. F.]

Glad to hear you write it...

[V]

Beautiful and smooth words. Such a nice flow to it and lovely choice of words. I enjoyed reading.

[Woody]

very nice indeed! I'm surprised you think this is not serious. beautiful love poem.
tiny corrections: you missed a "t" in thoughts
breathe, not breath
last line does not rhyme. I suggest something like: let's rejoice.

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Thanks Woody. Always looking out. =)

[foufa la perle]

That is so beautiful.. :)

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Thank you :D

[hcarson]

good job sir drift, to the point with some lovely words and expression. may not have been written in a serious manner by you but just as good any way :)

[Sir Drift & Mr. Pulse]

Yes I was juggling those lines in my head and caught it instantly. And thank you for the compliment