Many have seen stars at night but when it comes to day light, where do they hide? This story takes the simple idea of the Sun (being a star itself) and furthering its fact into a more complex fantasy.
Stars at day/Stars at night
The stars and Moon creep up at the day as the Sun rises up at night. I step outside to see what was wrong with the sky and there I saw how the stars stood still while day and night pass by my eyes. I ask the sky: “Where do the stars hide at day?”
James Johnson, a former astronaut at NASA. I told my friends about my dream and that I wanted to find the stars at day, I got approval for my ships flight; before I entered my wife stopped me. “James, do you really think you can find them?” Nancy cries. “Nancy, I love you and I promise to bring back proof of this discovery”. She grabs my hand and puts it on her belly, “I want you to bring him something.” I nod, my tears died on her lips as I said goodbye. I get in the spaceship ready to leave.
I close my eyes… Darkness surrounds me and little by little white spots appear, a giant white Sun passed my eyes as the spots follow the giant gleaming light. They grew brighter and bigger every time, I had to climb out of the ship for a better view, when out I saw how the white stars slowly floated away; I followed them steadfast passing near asteroids, nebulas, and an aurora to find the most impressive scene. My eyes stood in amaze as I saw a giant black sphere and witness how the white stars magnetically attached to the dark ball; as soon as the stars touched the orb they rapidly shift into a shiny gold color. In the midst of all this, I saw a blue star all alone; these are known to be in a process of a change. Happy with my discovery, I grabbed the blue light with me as proof of their existence.
I got back to Earth and jumped off my ship to find a little boy in the arms of my wife. I took out the star and handed it to my baby kissing his forehead. Then glanced over to my wife with vivid eyes. “You did it, James!” Nancy shouted, then asked: “So where are the stars?” My coworkers were eagerly waiting for a response. My boy pointed the star towards the sky and I proudly said: “They were never hidden, they faithfully shine us night and day, when asleep and awake.”
The star suddenly began to turn gold and my boy smiles, my wife’s tears rained on him. My baby boy let go of the star and the most beautiful thing occurred, the star flew straight through heaven and I could see how it approached the Sun and as soon as the Golden Star impacted the Sun all the other stars hidden on it turned blue and spread all over the colorless sky gifting us with its blue color leaving solely a Golden Star on the dusty Black Sun…
Beautiful. A story with events, but events that have something more, something beautiful and symbolic behind them. I seemed a little rushed, though I understand the short-and-simple idea. I can see you extending this into a longer piece, but I really enjoyed this work.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
thanks, I dont know if further developing would harm it, its short appearance tells it all, but mayb.. read morethanks, I dont know if further developing would harm it, its short appearance tells it all, but maybe someday. And thank you for reading it.
This is a really great idea to convert into a story. I remember wondering about the stars that where do they disappear when I was young.. But like anything else, I think it's us who are too shallow to see what's right in front of us, like the stars...
You could extend it into a kid's story as well.
One of my favourite of yours, Sire. 😊
Posted 7 Years Ago
7 Years Ago
Thank you for reading my silly ideas
7 Years Ago
That's abs not silly, silly 😛
I loved it. You're welcome 😊
To take such a small story of a Sun being a Star and converting it into an idea of stars living on the Sun for children to understand easier is simply and plainly BRILLIANT. I think your teaching through your stories will help many children in learning the diverse things in life!
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
You read it and understood it as if you were inside of my head, that is both amazing and creepy! But.. read moreYou read it and understood it as if you were inside of my head, that is both amazing and creepy! But yes this is my ultimate intention!
A beautiful story. Short, sweet, and simple, but also captivating. There's an elegance behind the simplicity and it works very well. 11/10 would read again.
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank you very much for reading this toddler intended story. It is very different since it was a cha.. read moreThank you very much for reading this toddler intended story. It is very different since it was a challenge to keep it short and understanding. I hope children will enjoy it as much as people do! :D thanks!
this is the makings of a great story one that is still in infancy you have all the tools for a masterpiece
but this is rushed and I know nothing really about who i am reading about. there is beauty in this and a great idea. the Universe is beyond what we will ever comprehend I feel that way about imagination and yours is infinite as the the Universe and now expand it in your words and paint them like the stars....
Awesome idea
Chuck
Posted 8 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Yeah I kept it simple because I want it to be a children's story therefore not trying to confuse the.. read moreYeah I kept it simple because I want it to be a children's story therefore not trying to confuse the children but maybe I can create an adult version or more advanced. Thank you for reading :D
Beautiful. A story with events, but events that have something more, something beautiful and symbolic behind them. I seemed a little rushed, though I understand the short-and-simple idea. I can see you extending this into a longer piece, but I really enjoyed this work.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
thanks, I dont know if further developing would harm it, its short appearance tells it all, but mayb.. read morethanks, I dont know if further developing would harm it, its short appearance tells it all, but maybe someday. And thank you for reading it.
My writing is strongly based on science, culture, myths and fantasy. I do enjoy poem writing but short stories are my passion, I am developing a few novels as well. I am looking for any critique that .. more..