Of The Passing

In a womb that's sewn for two

what keeps my friend warm at night?

Its not the murmur of the branches

convincing him hes alright

Under a moonlit dome

with feet of fire

he calls out to the sky

Its his fathers face

when it did break

when my friend from death that day escaped

Run all you wish

my pretty petri friend

what you need is to leap

but it would take you back through death

Reviews

[abluehorseandflowers]

Being a bit of a nut for form, I particularly appreciate your 4-3-3-4 structure. Too, I like your poem's somewhat abstract nature, i.e. "my friend from death" could be read two ways, and "what you need is to leap" is delightfully ambiguous. Thanks.

[Jewel Chanda]

interesting one.. "my pretty petri friend" seemed nice to me.. then "but it would take you back through death" .. very interisting

[Saddam]

Impressive one. Quite intresting.
Your placement of words are very good. Nicr one dear. keep it up.

Run all you wish
my pretty petri friend
what you need is to leap
but it would take you back through death