His face, so happy so joyful. Thats what I needed. I stared, I wanted, and before I knew it I latched on. I clung to him emotionally, in my mind I was his he was mine until the end of time. Of course, I was wrong. I am always wrong. I was his puppet, his useless thumbless monkey. He got enjoyment out of toying with my emotions. I should leave all the voices taunted. I should never speak to him again they shouted. I would never be his and he would never be mine! This was all very true. True indeed but, I was foolish and rather be hurt then lose him. Maybe I could move on find someone better but, I didn't want better. I did not care if he looked at me as young pathetic girl he could play with. I was his young pathetic little girl. He broke my heart everyday, by the time he was finished I was cold, tired, and all the happiness I ever had had been drained out of my young, motivated, loving, and enthusiastic heart. I felt confused, tired, lonely, and abandoned. The only two questions I had left was why and what's wrong with me?
I know exactly how this feels Rayne, what a beautiful name by the way, and that is why "When Harry met Sally" was such a brilliant movie, boys will be boys, 99% of the time they are clueless to what girls are feeling, and the really good guys who want to have real friends try to hang out with girls like us and show us how special we are without trying to get in our pants and then of course we fall in love with this kind of guy, but if he doesn't love us back , well that hurts doesn't it? Can you blame him for not being able to feel what he doesn't, surprisingly some do, and surprisingly they want to make every other person close to that person hurt like they do too. That is why this kind of exhaling is so important on our own pages, I applaud your bravery and your strength, sometimes we love people we can't be with, it's not our fault and it doesn't make us wrong in anyway, to love someone, it just means we realize that lovers come and go but friends stand by each other always, there was obviously something in that person that you loved and it's still there whether they feel that way or not, it's yours and you are brilliant and can be for as long as it takes till you find someone who does love you that way and then that guy , well, he'll still be that guy , hopefully that great friend who thought you were great as a person and worthy of time and effort but it won't hurt anymore.
I feel you in this poem. I've also been in situations like this. And it truly hurts as hell. What I've learned from the past experiences is that maybe life just wants me to realize that I'm worth it. I'm worth the mess I've been through. That my life doesn't always revolve around that guy whom I thought meant everything to me.
One thing I could commend is your strong heart and how you bravely poured it out in this poem. A lot of people are not able to do that. There's nothing wrong with you dear (answer to your last line). You loved. And it's human nature to love. Love can make you do a lot of things, even sacrifice a lot too. In the end you'd realize that, love can also resurrect you. Maybe it doesn't have to be with the guy anymore, but with yourself this time:) Good job on the poem! :)
I know exactly how this feels Rayne, what a beautiful name by the way, and that is why "When Harry met Sally" was such a brilliant movie, boys will be boys, 99% of the time they are clueless to what girls are feeling, and the really good guys who want to have real friends try to hang out with girls like us and show us how special we are without trying to get in our pants and then of course we fall in love with this kind of guy, but if he doesn't love us back , well that hurts doesn't it? Can you blame him for not being able to feel what he doesn't, surprisingly some do, and surprisingly they want to make every other person close to that person hurt like they do too. That is why this kind of exhaling is so important on our own pages, I applaud your bravery and your strength, sometimes we love people we can't be with, it's not our fault and it doesn't make us wrong in anyway, to love someone, it just means we realize that lovers come and go but friends stand by each other always, there was obviously something in that person that you loved and it's still there whether they feel that way or not, it's yours and you are brilliant and can be for as long as it takes till you find someone who does love you that way and then that guy , well, he'll still be that guy , hopefully that great friend who thought you were great as a person and worthy of time and effort but it won't hurt anymore.