Blood Red Fantasy

Will you be my nightmare

My one and only dream

Will you make me suffer

Can you make me scream

For every sin and every lie

Take this life away

Free me from this darkness

Yet in hell I'll always stay

Rip apart my heart and soul

Make me feel the pain

Make me feel all these things

So I know I'm sane

Kiss me gently, Hurt me so

For death is what I await 

No one wants this forsaken soul

For you were always my fate

Reviews

[WizardsAffliction]

My only issue with this piece is that it's bogged down with cliches (or variations of them). Try finding your own voice and comparing things that usually aren't compared together, or give inanimate objects human qualities. Personify a ton, or personify a little and emphasize it with a metaphor or a simile.

But well done and keep writing! :D

Hope this helps and happy trails!