An Ice-Scream Kamikaze Raved into Mortality 1

It was too exhausting for the three of us for something underestimated and simpleton. This included Kaito’s stupidity trolling our exclusive voice bank by copying the CD without our legal permission. After being chased by the mob, we were utterly lethargic; I opened and leaned the door. Gasping exasperatingly, I discovered that my hair tangled just like the 1970’s afro disco dancer.

Miku served us a glass of iced water. “What’s going on you three?”

“Don’t you see these lunatic mobs chasing us?” Gumi rasped.

“Yeah, I saw them. I scribbled some words for them to comprehend.”

Peeping from the window, I saw everyone had dismissed the mass and thrown the flambeaux and tridents on the street. They berated us, which did not benefit me. I clinked the window glass and totally fell asleep.

I did lose my consciousness, but I could still hear Miku’s conversing with my both best friends, as if a verse from an angel whispered into my ear. All I did was just enjoying my snooze and ignoring the reality at the moment.

I woke up after somebody tickled my belly button. Miku ordered me to do weekly chores. Perhaps, I could just sleep on Miku’s sleek thigh by clutching hers. Next, I gripped her right one so firmly that she couldn’t even make a single move. But, she hoisted her left one and forced herself the right foot so that she could stop me from being clingy. She pounded my head and became vitriolic to me.

“Aren’t you straight?” Miku irked, “Get rid of me!”

I resumed my snooze and yet, I was beaten up by Miku again. I felt the pain, but I couldn’t do anything but to fulfill my duty. I walked to the kitchen comatosely as lifted my arm perpendicularly.

Gumi stammered, “Z-z-z-zombie! The zombie is dwelling in our house.”

She tugged IA’s skirt for a cue and stammered nonstop. Both of them were wordless looking my hair totally tangled and my wounded face. “Z-z-z-z-z-z�"”

Everybody put their panic on their mind and assembled to the kitchen. “What is that creature?” Yohio inquired. I turned my head to them and they were totally just like the chickens.

“Bwaaah!”

At the moment, I couldn’t regain my conscious any longer before Miku sprayed some pesticide to my face.

“Take this,” Miku fortified the rest, “you zombie.”

I could barely breathe and soon, I showered myself. Soaking with water, I returned to the kitchen and the bad boys apprehended me promptly. They tied me on the chair with the rope and attached my mouth with a duct tape. They also covered my eyes with a scarf.

Somebody interrogated somehow with anonymous voice. The voice was so dark that I was exactly in the labyrinth at the jiff.

“Who are you?”

They were so simpleton because they asked the person whom they taped the mouth. What kind of interrogator were they just because I was unconsciously a zombie?

They were exasperated and started nagging me, “Who are you? Answer!”

I mumbled at them and they were still intimidating me, “Who are you?!”

I licked the adherent side of the tape, slurped, and spit it. Then, I nodded my head so that the scarf began to loosen. I saw the one who interrogated me and began to be furious.

“You,” I took a great, merciless breath and began bawling to him, “you retard. Don’t you ever use your encephalon to think? I can’t talk when you stick me with the tape, imbecile.”

I transformed my hand into scales that may be hazardous if someone touched. It was due to the fact that I owned a venomous substance under my radii, which I refilled it by injecting each of my radius once in two weeks. The venom was too poisonous, even that the rope could melt itself. I intended to use and execute people with my self-made venom so that they could be remorseful what they had done to me.

“Now, you,” my eye color incandescently reddened and my eyebrows grew longer, as if I was incarnated as a demon. I walked slowly to him, intimidatingly pushed him to the suicidal level. I glanced around and everybody soaked in white.

“No, no way he’ll be dying soon.”

“You’re too stupid to exist; get in the Netherworld.”

The guy with blue hair was immobilize as I took a step closer to torment his soul. I lent him a hand and said a farewell, “This is your last handshake.” He turned into a total yellow and finally stoned. As I began my elegy, somebody drenched me a bucket of water, again.

“Huh? What am I doing here?” My real instinct was back to the world that was supposed to be. “Why Kaito’s totally cold? Never ever seen him so cold that he froze without exiling him to Siberia.”

“Ah, too bad I can’t get the fun part,” Avanna recorded me.

“What?” I excoriated to her.

“You’re the monster. I love how the way you act. I really love it!”

I was totally confounded…

Everyone except Gumi, IA, and I left the kitchen. Looking at the kitchen, there weren’t left any food but leftovers. We messed up the kitchen set and put all remaining food on the preparing table.

I asked, “Are there any proteins?”

“There are just half chicken and three steaks left.”

IA defrosted them in the microwave. She then told me to wash the vegetable, but the only vegetables that we had were just few greens. I opened the cupboard, lifted, and put the flour on the preparing table. Just behind the flour, there were too many herbs. That was why sometimes at the end of the month, we just ate the spiced bread for lunch and dinner.

I thought the last week of the month was the schedule for shopping, but I realized that it was November-December errand, when we had to update our voice banks and the voice editor application, Vocaloid. Everybody was just too busy to do the outdoor chores.

Since it was the same case, I pulled out everything inside the cupboard and discussed what food we should serve for all Vocaloid members living in the mansion. IA, one of my besties, was eminent on cooking, although she often made us something eerie to eat.

“So, let’s see,” IA pointed the ingredients, “what about cooking a pie?”

“I don’t know if it is successful or not.”

I glanced at her skeptically because she wrecked up most dishes when she cooked in big portion.

“Don’t worry,” she ensured, patted my back, “it won’t happen again. Right now, you two should give me a hand.”

* * *

The oven beeped and we had a great effort to carry and serve the 21-inch-diameter pie on the dining table. It was so heavy that even a single man couldn’t carry it. Abruptly, Miku clenched IA’s hand and hauled into the living room.

“Bwaaah,” IA was surprised, “Gumi, Mayu, could you help me calling all members to the dining room?”

“B-b-but how could we two girls be supposed to carry this monster?”

“Just figure it out yourself. I’m busy right now.” She left us without further advice.

Gumi and I were struggling because of the unbalanced pie weight. Meanwhile, everybody was on their own business, so we attempted a few times to bring it.

“Let’s tote the pie,” Gumi suggested, “I mean I tote the pie with you.”

“Isn’t that obvious?” I was outrageous.

“What?”

“Just now, we three had an effort to bring the pie and it was such a disaster. What do you expect two of us toting the pie?”

“It won’t fall. Trust me.”

I lifted the pie and put it on her arm. I held the pan, but she wasn’t strong enough to bear it. I was almost tripped as I walked backwards and hit the cupboard. Gumi knocked her head, “Ouch, it hurts.” She barely resisted the weight, “You’re right. Do you have any other ideas?”

I was totally blunt; I couldn’t even think even a single word to talk because I was on lassitude even to perceive something.

“Well,” I paused a little bit as I was uselessly fatigue, “I don’t know what to do; I wanna snore some more.”

“There’s no time to sleep.”

At all of sudden, my mind came with brilliant idea, didn’t it? Never mind.

“Let’s push the pie on the floor instead.”

Gumi flattened her facial emotion, “I don’t think we should push the pie on the floor. That’ll be impertinent, you know.”

“Unless the food is still warm, the members will nag us,” I tried to figure out another intriguing idea to serve this food before the heat disappeared. On the table, there was coincidentally a box and there were some wheels inside of it. The thing was that I suddenly noticed the most convenient way to serve the pie.

“Gumi, could you take me a screwdriver?”

“What the heck are you doing? It’s not the time to disassemble an RC.”

“Whatever. Just take the screwdriver urgently.”

I designed a kiddy cart using the box so that we didn’t waste our energy just to lift this monster. I installed four wheels and holed the front side so that the rope could be tied there. I examined the little cart and it was surely a terrific one. We placed the pie and pulled the cart to the dining room.

As we almost reached there, the cart suddenly broke apart and the wheels scattered everywhere. Gumi wondered, “What have just happened?”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head.

“So now, how do we put this pie exactly on the table?”

Somehow, a reflective instinct demanded us to yell, “Help! Help!”

I thought the boys wouldn’t stay in the mansion for momentarily because they had to record their voice to their own provider, so they could render and update their voice bank by themselves.

Fukase and Big Al came and gave us a hand putting the pie on the table.

“While you’re managing to serve this pie, Gumi and I are going to the announcement room.”

After taking stairs, Gumi plugged the microphone and I switched the speakers on.

“Everybody, the dinner is ready. Please advance to the dining room punctually.”

As the ones who were in charge, we counted how many members that weren’t on the dining room.

“Dex, Arsloid, and VY2 have just informed us they wouldn’t be in the mansion, while we only know IA, Miku, and the rest of them were in the living room.”

Everybody was starving and grabbed a piece of pie. However, according to the rule, all members had to assemble to the dining room or everyone was not able to eat, unless the members told us that they were absent during the dining time.

“But I’m so hungry,” Miki and Iroha wailed.

“Oh, kids,” Gumi muttered, “when will they be grownups?”

“This is weird.” I was nervous, “Usually, IA is the one who comes here so fast.”

“Yeah, I’m sorta jealous to her,” Gumi groaned

“Why are you suddenly talking that?”

“I don’t know. She eats a lot without gaining her body weight. So awesome. I wish I could be her someday.”

I vanished my face to her, headed to my bedroom, and took the weighting scale. Then, she measured at my behest.

“What?” Gumi shrieked, “I gain three kilos, again? But I’m on diet right now! What should I do?”

“You’re right,” I agreed, “perhaps, we should await them awhile. IA might be using the toilet right now.”

“Did you just listen to me?”

“I don’t know; just stop grieving to your body. I’m so exasperated.”

Everybody was petulant because their small bellies rumbled so loudly that I thought the sound came from the thunder. They protested and drove me crazy.

“But, rules are rules. Nobody eats before everyone’s coming,” I was totally impervious. Everybody complained to me, but my idealism dominated me when it went to rules and regulations. It was that I wasn’t inflexible, but as the real reason, I didn’t want to be a hypocrite person who disobeyed the rules that weren’t supposed to be followed, unless it was emergency. This was definitely not in the condition where an urgency was a requisite, just like there was no food and people turned into cannibalism. There would be no compensation for us to outlaw thus.

“We’re sitting here and not eating before IA and the others come, period. Nobody leaves here.”

Ruby murmured to Fukase, “Is she on the period right now?”

He was perplexed, “I don’t know, but she’s right on the period. Just look at her skirt. It’s soaked in�"”

“Fukase, I heard that!”

* * *

Three days passed and nobody had ever returned to their errands. We were all lingering still in the kitchen awaiting IA and the others return. Some of us slept on the dining table while the others used their phone because I ordered not to flee as long as they didn’t come.

“Oh, God, why can’t we eat right now?” SeeU howled.

“Yeah. I don’t think the pie’s going to taste like three days ago, duh,” Miki protested.

“Three days?” Ruby shocked when she was reading a novel, “Can we just go eat that pie without them? I’m really starving right now.”

“At least I didn’t have to meet him for three straight days.” Big Al continued to chant his voice to the auto-tune application right on his phone. In the meantime, there was a cat that appeared just like magic. It then climbed, scratched the table cloth and clawed the candle, in which the cloth was almost burnt thus.

Fukase turned his head right and something odd appeard.

“Why suddenly there exists a cat?”

Ruby sneezed, “I don’t know, but�"”

As a matter, I loved cats to be honest, so I chased the cat on the table and caressed it. “What a fluffy kitty you are.” The cat mercilessly clashed my hair.

“My beautiful hair,” I bewailed, “I have just look after mine. No!” I was mad to the cat that cut my long, blonde hair, “Cat, you’re paying for this!”

I cast my eyes down standing my shame. “Mayu, stop being a drama queen,” Gumi advised me.

“Drama queen? It’s so complicated to take care this long hair, you know.”

“Nah,” Gumi taunted me, “you just brush your hair with the mixture of a glass of goat milk, rice tea, a pinch of zinc and uranium don’t you?”

Gumi didn’t realize that it was my deep dark secret. They tried to avert me, but was that a real hazardous to put little powder of uranium ore in my shampoo? There were so many things that were actually radioactive, such as bananas that were gobbled by Len, or maybe Brazilian nuts crunched by Arsloid.

“What?”

“N-n-n-nothing…” Fukase exaggerated.

“Guys, don’t you see that Len is eating so much radioactive substances? I mean, aren’t I wrong to mix a little bit of uranium so that I could take care of my hair?”

“B-b-b-but that’s totally nonsense�"and pravest,” Ruby permeated me with vitriols.

“What does even ‘pravest’ mean? Let me guess, pre-harvest, which means before harvest day?”

“Far from you expect,” Fukase booed me, “that word is so popular right now. I don’t know where it comes from, but according to the statistical result from the I Love English Company, ‘pravest’ is currently the most used word in the world as a slang, and has been nominated to the most innovative words, you know.”

“Stop gibbering�"that is not even a legible slang,” I confronted, “what does it mean by the chance if I have to know it?”

“You’d be better to see the cat blighting the dining room immediately,” Len hooked our clothes and redirected our sight.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Miki was dejected, “this is hell. What the heck has happened?”

“I don’t see any semblance of Iroha here in all of sudden,” SeeU reported.

I looked around the kitchen and there really was no Iroha. The cat distracted me searching Iroha somewhere. The others were also catching the cat in some kind of different methods.

Len suddenly noticed the color of the cat’s tail was distinguishable from the other types of cats. I also recognized the cat’s scent that was just familiar to me. As the cat went outside, Gumi had just blocked the way out.

“Here’s the cat,” she handed me the cat.

“I think it’s not an ordinary cat,” Ruby sneezed over and over again.

“I’m agree with Ruby,” Len fondled its tail, “the tail is red�"and brilliant.”

Gumi inferred, “I don’t think that’s a real cat. It smells like somebody recently takes a shower, but she’s kinda aggressive.”

“Whoa, the mess�"”

The cat had just ruined the entire dining table. Most of the plates and glasses had been fractured, the cloth was just torn irregularly, and the cat even peed on the table. The candle melted and the wax was everywhere on the table, as the cat’s footprint. There was just one thing that was weird: the pie remained untouched. As the cat began to bite the crust, I put the pie away from it.

As the dining room became a chaos, somebody knocked the door. I opened it, IA and the others had returned. She hugged me, but her body scent was so smelly that she didn’t shower for three consecutive days.

“Where have you been?” I cried.

“Just a little bit business with Kaito and his pals,” she caressed my hair and noticed the change, “did you take a haircut? It looks so unkempt though.”

“It’s a long story, IA. Anyway, let’s eat the pie.”

“Huh? What pie?” IA pondered awhile, “You mean the pie we baked three days ago?”

“Yes.”

IA was amazingly shocked, “Haven’t you the rest eaten the pie?”

“Yes, and nobody won’t eat the pie until you all are coming.”

Listening to what I said, Miku yelped because something might happen bad to us worse than when I had to be obedient to the mansion law. She didn’t spit a word and rushed to the dining room. The others and I followed her as the lexical meaning of ‘Miku didn’t talk’ meant that everyone was just a garbage for her.

“What the heck?”

As I escorted IA, Miku, and the others to the dining room, it was totally a disaster. This time the chair turned into the cat’s mosaic scratches, the cat peed for the second time on the table, but the pie was still free from the contact.

“Mayu, why did the yellowish liquid drip?” IA pointed the table.

“Umm…”

“Eww, that’s so gross.” Miku pinched her nose, “I can even smell the spew from here.”

Kaito spotted the right corner of the dining room, “And why are Gumi, Big Al, and the others standing, toting, and shivering in fear?”

“Th-th-th-that cat�"” Gumi was agitated. “s-s-s-so aggre-re-re-sive!”

Miku meowed and beckoned her outside the dining room, “Iroha, deform your shape.”

This time, the cat did treat something to the pie. It bit and chewed the pie crust and something weird happened again. “Meow, meow, delicious,” the cat turned into a human�"not a humanoid.

“IROHA?!”

The Vocaloid’s in the corner tumbled directly to the table.

Big Al got splashed and loathed, “Ew… Cat’s pee. Gross.”

“Finally, I’m full,” Iroha yawned like a cat.

I punched her head and clamored, “You just even take a bite.”

“But it’s tasty. Who cooked the food?” Iroha meowed.

Miku elaborated what had just happened to Iroha, “She turns naturally into a cat once she is so starving.”

“What?” everyone was utterly astonished, “We’ve never known that Iroha is half human half cat.”

“Any-meow,” Iroha clung to me and purred my hair, “the pie hasn’t rotted yet. The cook must be so professio-nyal.”

IA grinned to me and her. I was curious how the pie hadn’t decay at all, so I ate one. “IA, you’re a great cook,” I complimented her gleefully, “I don’t believe you don’t burn the food again.”

“Yeah, IA. This isn’t so bad after all,” Miku complimented her.

Rin wondered, “IA, how can the pie taste so tangy and tasty?”

“I don’t know. This is just what I’ve got.”

“Do you have a secret ingredient?” Gakupo asked.

“Every chef has its own secret, duh,” IA mocked him, “anyway, just enjoy the food and I’ll tell you the secret to make this pie last longer.”

* * *

“I’m totally full,” Oliver yawned, “this is the best dish I ever eat."

“Me so sleepy-eow,” Iroha stretched her body and meowed. Ruby stood on the chair and shivered with resentment, “Cats!”

Gakupo retrieved IA the secret, “So, what’s the secret ingredient anyway?”

“I won’t tell you directly, but okay. I want you to obtain a convoluted phrase and decrypt it into a simple ingredient.”

“What’s the code?” Miki asked.

“It is a living elegy,” IA smirked. Avanna and Fukase was totally stunned, “You put everyone here to death?”

“Not that elegy. I don’t sing an elegy because I am a cinnamon roll” she enticed them lief.

“So, what does it mean anyway? Living is something exist and movable, while elegy is a death ceremony song. You said that the ingredient is the lexical meaning of the decrypted phrase, didn’t you?” Avanna vociferated, “So, according to the denotation of the meaning, living elegy means that the song chanted to something living until the death.”

“Umm… That’s not what I mean,” she defended herself, “what’s the word for concealed meaning?”

“Just say hidden meaning,” Fukase answered.

“Okay, so I want you to figure out what the hidden meaning is.”

Without further protest, everyone switched the phone on and searched the meaning by using the dictionary application. I didn’t have to because my axe was also a pocket dictionary, so it was convenient just to gaze at the axe rather than staring on the phone for a while. I touched the sensor on the blade and a hologram zoomed in. I uttered the code and the hologram displayed “Looking for Living Elegy”.

I copied the meaning and pasted to the wooden handle so that I could read it without decreasing the axe power. As I shut down the hologram, we shouted in unison that we had found the hidden meaning of the code.

Fukase found that the meaning was chicken stock. Rin and Len found that banana and orange were the living elegy. The bad boys but Kaito agreed that chili and milk were the ingredients; Kaito might just answer ice cream was the secret formula. I pondered that all herbs except candlenut were the ingredients to keep the taste more balanced and last longer. The others were just too lazy to analyze the words.

“You are all wrong, but Kaito,” IA flayed.

“Is my answer correct?” Kaito was piqued by IA’s reaction.

She then faced and stabbed Kaito, “Nope, you’re the worst! Since everyone was not able to figure it out, I just have to reveal the encrypted phrase.”

“This is gonna be stunning,” she yelled out loud slowly, “that the secret ingredient is�"”

“What? Tell us right now.”

“It’s so simple, you know,” she sighed, “so simple that everyone can do it if you have given an authorization from so�"”

We roared, “Just say it!”

“It’s my dandruff, silly.”

We all were speechless. We all were disgusted with the delicious pie because she put something inappropriate inside the food. IA was overwhelmed seeing our empty facial expression.

“What’s wrong with you guys?”

We didn’t react because all we did were just opening our jaws and paralyzing like a stony statue. She waved her hands in front of our hands, but we were just as if we consumed something desponded. For just a second, most of us were all alive and began to spew. Some of us directed to the bathroom just to vomit and others vomit at the dining table’s ruins.

“Eww,” Miku held her gastric to bear her stomachache, “that’s the most horrific food I ever swallow.”

“How the heck you put your dandruffs in the pie?” Avanna kvetched.

“But isn’t that fine?” IA talked solemnly, “My dandruff has some kind of magical spell and according to the lab research, my dandruff is edible and nutritious. Aside from my dandruff, I also put another ingredient as a substitute for salt.”

“Let me guess,” Fukase trolled, “it’s your sweat.”

“Yes, but it is hygienic, you know. According to the lab result nearby the emer�"”

“I don’t care even if the lab admits your hygiene. Edible or not, it’s just so disgusting,” Miki scolded her.

“�"hmm… Not only that,” IA responded in such smart way, “this is the top secret formula for my delicious pie�"”

We refused, “NO!”

We planned a payback to IA for what she had done to the pie and us.

“Let’s get out of here,” Big Al whispered to us in circle. Rin and Len still didn’t wake up until I beat their backhands.

“Ouch,” the twin arose, “what’s the deal with, Mayu?”

“Nothing, just get out of the dining room!”

As we tiptoed, Kaito accidentally bumped over IA’s head and swiftly run. IA was awoken, rubbing her eyes.

I peeped her. “Oh, guys, it’s midnight. Where are the others?” Nobody answered her. She began to be anxious for our disappearance.

“Miku, Gumi, Mayu, where are you?”

We all shouted behind wall where IA couldn’t see us, “Go clean the dining room by yourself, IA. Thanks for the meal anyway.”

“Have you been turned into a ghost?” IA whined, “NO!”

^^-^^