Slowly

I'll leave it to your imagination

Slowly falling

Hitting the ground

Slowly losing

The will to be around

Just a little longer

You hear them say

Don’t lose hope

You laugh

You know it’s already too late.

Slowly falling

Hitting the ground

Slowly losing

Your will to be around

Your mind stops

Slowly breathing

One last breath

“I’ll always be here”

Slowly beating

Your heart stops.

Reviews

[Cherrie Palmer]

this was a great job the mental image and the over all feel. Your use of emotion was perfect.

[jasonaspraggins]

Very nice. Would make love song lyrics.

[InkSlinger]

I have to agree with Abel, this poem has the ability to pull you right into the piece, allowing for the reader to feel the pain associated with the words. I love the flow, how you repeat the lines, "slowly falling, hitting the ground" "slowly losing, the will to be around".. it keeps the whole poem together, moving nicely!

[Bridget Mcmaken]

wow very, very well writen. I love this poem. Thanks for sharing it. it flows nicely too.

[Abel Garcia]

You describe the poem in a way that as a reader i step into this alternate reality and feel the pain of the writing.
great poem.