It Was Here That I Saw

It was here that I saw

Bleeding red and skin raw,

My whole generation

Lying dead on the floor.

Eyes bubble to boil from

Nucleonic black screens,

Eye white liquid boiling

Popping warm with disease,

Our visions were stolen by the

Flash of a screen.

 

Burning retinas and pupils

Till they fizzle and fuse,

With fires of packed houses

And American shoes,

Selling life in its parody

Here I saw my own youth,

It’s heart cut wide open

Desperate for the truth.

 

But we’re cut; we are cut by our dad’s expectation,

For a life filled with debt for a hated vocation,

Minds numb with fear,

From confused association.

We learn nothing that has

Not already been told,

For the world and the life

Has already grown old.

The world she has given

All she can give,

And now she’s retiring

With no reason to live.

 

We have stepped outside

The city's vast ocean,

At the end of mankind

I'm sick of this notion,

That we must accomplish

And make our own mark,

But Life’s all for nothing

And soon will be dark,

As our history melts

Into the dissolve,

With the past all forgotten

Life free of resolve.

Author's Note

All honest feedback appreciated. Be as critical as you like...

Reviews

[Dhaye]

I like this one, particularly the rhyme scheme. It's fun to read with its structure.

As to the concept...I like it since it's about LIFE. We really make our own marks in life. There are many expectations from the people around us...but it's only us who will determine our own choices.

Nice piece.

[James Ramsay]

thanks for your comments Dhaye

[Fluffy Mamma]

I think this describes America these days. I like it. All we do is stare at screens and let our lives pass away. We don't learn from our past, so we are doomed to repeat it.

I also like the rhyme scheme, makes it easy and fun to read. Great job.

[James Ramsay]

Thanks for the positive comments, you got the point of the poem which is great. Specifically, the poem is directed at the youth of today including myself, i feel we all just live our lives through screens whether it is numbing our brains to trashy tv or spending hours being supposedly "social" on the internet. We are losing our human touch in day to day life it seems, and i see it creating problems in my age groups and even a little in myself. All these screen mean we distance ourselves from reality and can lead to us becoming recluses/developing anxieties.