Spring

Longing for natural warmth

I yearn for spring. I want to feel alive and not cold. I want to eat green asparagus in the kitchen, while the sun shines through the window and I can't see the flames under the pans. The sizzling sound of the wet asparagus in the hot oil and the green, grassy smell slowly wafting through the house, out the balcony door. I want to leave work by bike without my sweater on because it's way warmer than it was in the morning. I want to stop by the farmer's market and buy vegetables and tulips and fresh bread. I don't want to feel the dread. I want to feel relieved to wake up and see the blue sky and hear the birds. I want to fall asleep with my window open and be happy to do it all again tomorrow. I want to be able to smell the warmth in the air and not be afraid to forget my coat at home. I want to go on a picnic and get wine drunk at 3 in the afternoon and go out for dinner and fall asleep on the couch when I get home. I want to drink, eat, love, cry, enjoy, sleep, breathe life. I want to be happy to be alive, to feel lucky that the world wants me as bad as I want it.