remigrate to you

ill sucker punch you kenny so watch out nevels

  i loved you but now all i feel for you is hate. i wish you'd die so i wouldn't have to face you everyday at school.  why did it have to be this way kenny? we could have had it all. i could have loved you forever .but you stepped out because . because you just felt like it . thats what you said to my face with not a tear in your eyes. but i screamed to god that night . and asked him why. asked for a new heart to repair.  no ones there. all i wanted was someone to love someone to hug when im alone . someone who'd understand what you did to me and tell me to lift my chin so the world can see my pretty face. but all they say is "'well he had a reason lyrical , you did pester him'' , but thats not how it was in my eyes.  i just wanted to be there with you every second as i could take in. your friends  push me around and to the ground. my friends watched as you beat me and the hated watching me in pain. you wouldn't care when i tried to talk to you . when i tried to get to know you . i wanted you . then i NEEDED you. but you didn't need anyone ,but yourself . so what did i do so wrong for you to hate me . now all i feel for you is hate. now dont turn around and leave in the dark . too late you already did now im becoming a monster ready to stab you when your not looking .  to kill you in the still dark. can't i be loved . today . next year. next life . somewhere in the past i had it perfect till you came around now the past is too hard to see therefor i can't relive them. i can't feel happiness now knowing you her and not me knowing you never did love me . whats your problem going around taking souls and shattering dreams  this is coming from the girl who just stood there . who never cared to love anyone yet everyone wanted her heart ,but she gave it you . that girl was me. i never cared to love or like anyone i didn't care i just stood there . till you came around. i could have any boy i wanted , but you were the only one who was hard to get maybe thats why i like you. because i have to fight to win your trust . i don't like easy . who else in this world is hard . iv'e been looking ,but i can't seem to find a war to end.  but looking back i die inside when your face stains my eyes and my heart begins to beat . my worst enemy is my memory. the ones of you. my friends ask me why i even liked you i always say ''because i thought he was cute'', but the real reason i cannot say . because i do not know myself. and im afraid i never will. thats a question i cannot answer for you , im sure god knows. but he'll never tell. you made me forget whats real kenny. i followed you and ignored my friends just to talk to u . know everyone hates me . brett thinks im changing because i left my friends in the cold. i'm sorry brett , but people change and i moved on. so you need to. Brett i'm changing . Want to know why? It's because i'm in pain kenny broke me and now i'm unable to love unable to feel your hands reaching out to mine so if i can't feel whats the point of grasping your hands to pull me in? ill never be all right again . Please understand brett that it's happening because i'm dying inside . Blame it on Nevels hes the one who shattered my soul and put the ashes in my hands. please im on my knees begging you to understand what i'm feeling inside . what i feel is like non other . i feel like hiding under the covers so i can pretend nothing ever happened . i want to rip off my ears so i can't hear the whispers when i turned around in the hall. i want to lie to everyone when they ask me if i'm okay . i want to tell myself i don't miss him. but i do and i cant lie to myself it just doesn't work anymore. i want to scream at him that hes killing me . i want to beg for mercy in hes ears so know one knows i'm giving in. i want to believe in him , but i can't he broke off my trust. i wouldn't dare take his hands if i were slipping off a cliff to my death . i wouldn't let him pull me up out the dark again because the dark is less scary than being in hell with him . he tore out his life  like thin paper out the notebook of lies. so i'm on the cold ground begging pleading . suicide is not a choice any more.  so i look out the window pain at the rain . and remember all the tears i shed for thee . brett do you understand if so never make the mistake of loving someone as i did. because i made just one mistake now i can't love at all . i'm to empty to bleed anymore for anyone else . yet i'm still standing and waiting and watching the days pass like years thinking maybe under it ALL some day ill come around and  be loved once more as you did me. so i'm remigrating to you .     

Author's Note

for my friend brett

Reviews

[Larrycall]

hey its mall your best friend,you left ur account up on the computer umm just gonna say this ur really good and this is the best poem ive evr read.love and miss you!!mall

[Larrycall]

i miss you more were not even friends now i dont think i know you anymore