Flash Back

Chapter Three

3

           

            Thinking about my life, I sit there motionless. I put my pen to the paper, and I begin to shake. Fear suddenly over comes me, what am I afraid of? Look at me… she really did me in. I look at the bottle. I try to hold back, my thoughts race… it comes in flashes, moments of time steal me away for a second, but it feels endless. Then the pictures of my brother come forth…

Tears stream down my face. I break down and begin to cry, weeping quietly to myself.

“I’m… I’m sorry, it… it should have…” I say to myself. “It should have been me! Why God? Why?” my hands clench into fists and press against my eyes sobbing.

 

I push away my book, reach for a beer and walk out onto my deck. I take a breath and look up to the stars. I’m fucked; I’m really fucked ain’t I? I mumble to myself. I sit on my chair, stare up and catch a shooting star.

“I wish…” I pause. Then tears roll down my face, “I wish for her to come back. God, I love her… I’ll die this way. I know my life’s a mess, I know I’m probably to late for anything.” I take a shot of my beer.

I lean forward with my elbow resting on my thigh and my hand over my face. I let out a sigh,

Just send me a sign, show me you still care.

 

“You have any more beer to share with an old friend.” A voice so familiar snaps me out from my thoughts.

I’m surprised, but my smile greets him, “You know it.” and I get up to fetch him a brew.

“Long time,” he said as he stood at the door.

“It’s only been a few days hasn’t it?” I said as I pop the cap off his beer.

“Man, you’ve been gone for two weeks. How long the next time? You know, you have to stop doing this to yourself. Drinking like this isn’t going to bring her back, or… or,” he pauses.

“What? Not going to bring who back?” I stood before him staring into his eyes.

“You got to quit beating yourself up, it’s not your fault.” He looks away.

“You didn’t answer my question,” I said to him. “Bring what back?”

“Homer,” he was choked up.

“I know that,” I hand him his beer and exit the house. “His name is, Anthony. Homer was his second name.”

 

I stand at the railings as he stood behind for a moment, then he stood by me looking out towards the night sky.

“I don’t mean anything wrong by that, Lawrence. He was my best friend, my best friend.” His voice cracks,  “He and you are like brothers to me… you know, I remember one time when we first went fishing…” I see his mouth moving, but my thoughts of Tony drown him out.

“Stop…” I cut him short. “I don’t want to talk about him right now.” I wipe the tears that strayed away on me. “Has it really been two weeks?”

He tries to smile and then nods, “Yeah, Beth is beginning to worry about you. I’m worried, if you want to drink, I’ll come over and drink with you, you don’t have to go away, I’ll keep you company… if you like.”

“Your good s**t, Marion, good s**t.” I tap his bottle with mine and we take a shot.

 

I glance towards the heavens and then back to him, I feel a pinch at the corner of my mouth, Marion steals a smile from me. I asked for a sign, and Marion is what he gives me. A good friend he is, still here, waiting, watching, and looking out for me.

 

A valued moment in time…

 

Reviews

[Lily Mae]

That is so golden.. the friendship and bond.. brothers by soul.. x

[Norma M Sutton]

Good friends are few and far between. Memories can drown without alcohol. Lost two great uncles to that stuff and nearly lost my sister friend.

[Wicahpi]

a valued moment, yes, a good friend, yes...but an enabler.
sorry, lol. guess i'm getting into the story. on to the next.
this is well done so far. no suggestions on this particular chapter.