This is a earth shattering tale, for any family.
Monsters are real. They prey on those weaker than themselves. So, knights must be real and have a keen eye.
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Sorry for the late reply. I am glad you read this piece. Very much appreciated.
Very nicely done. A poem within a poem, a good story, heartstrings are pulled on a little bit, and a plan for possible vengeance?? I will have to go through the Supernatural files and see if there is a remedy for Boogeymen...
This was decidedly a step-up from the previous edition, most notably on the length to which you mourn for the child; though it got to be a bit over-bearing with the heart break, the punctuation was slightly off (I attribute this to the tone of madness that is being conveyed). The idea of slender man in this instance is quite vague- too vague to the point that he's not scary, but is the known antagonist. If this were someone's first time hearing his name they would be mildly interested but not paranoid with fear. Overall, this piece was still very good; your character was revealed gracefully and the events leading to him going to "sacrifice" himself for his son are understandably relatable. Thank you for revising this, it's been a pleasure yet again to critique your work. Well done.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Thank you for taking time to review my piece. Your input is greatly appreciated.
Not knowing if the 'first' part is true or not, it does convey emotion well; I admit to nearly crying as I read. However, if this is a piece of fiction, which it may not be, so I assure you if it is true I give my condolences, that the name slenderman only be implied, as it was with his physical description. It was very poignant until that particular part, where the story weakened slightly. With light revision this could be a very delightfully horrific piece.
oh wow, what a write. how... emotional... how much hurt this father must feel. And I know how he feels about keeping his sons stuff, only because I lost my parents when I was 4, and I only have pictures to keep of them, thats all... I wish ,... oh how I wish, I had more things of theirs... I dont even have memories..
anyway, this was a great writing, it held so much within, I really enjoyed it. Ive never heard of slenderman, but... either way, yes, towards the end it was sketchy... in a cool way.
Thank you for visiting my place of work, I hope you enjoy what you read. I do try my best to entertain.
My imagination runs wild at times, but I love the freedom. more..