I Swore I'd Never Let You Down

Of the many promises broken

     From the tears of a clown

I offer these tears as a token

     I swore I'd never let you down

Crouched in fetal position on the floor

     Grief stricken systematic breakdown

As you walked away, and closed the door

     I swore I'd never let you down

Heavenly, the kiss from your lips tasted

     To never savor again I am bound

My inner struggle with time wasted

     I swore I'd never let you down

I am cursed by my own mistakes

     Wearing a smile to hide a frown

Happiness , having to fake

     I swore I'd never let you down

Memories tasting so bittersweet

     Heartstrings have become unwound

Like two strangers, pass by on the street

    I swore I'd never let you down

Do I ever cross your mind

    I feel your spirit all around

Or is the door forever locked behind

    I swore I'd never let you down

I saw it in your eyes

    With no words spoken

Fed up with all the lies

    Rendering your heart broken

I felt it in your touch

    As you turned, and walked away

You were already gone , no matter how much

    I tried to make you stay

I have to accept that you are gone

    The cries of guilt still resound

Having to live with the things I have done

   I wish I had never let you down...

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

The pace and flow of this write...
I believe needs a touch up---
the read was there --- you can feel the words...
and the repeating line --- as your chorus...
yet the assembly of this is off---
not saying the rhyme scheme...its in there...
with that --- if you worked on the format...
this would speak measures...and give its intent...
just putting the necessary spaces ---
for example would do wonders:

Of the many promises broken
From the tears of a clown
I offer these tears as a token
I swore I'd never let you down

Crouched in fetal position on the floor
Grief stricken systematic breakdown
As you walked away, and closed the door
I swore I'd never let you down

Heavenly, the kiss from your lips tasted
To never savor again I am bound
My inner struggle with time wasted
I swore I'd never let you down

I am cursed by my own mistakes
Wearing a smile to hide a frown
Happiness, having to fake
I swore I'd never let you down

Memories tasting so bittersweet
Heartstrings have become unwound
Like two strangers, pass by on the street
I swore I'd never let you down

Do I ever cross your mind?
I feel your spirit all around
Or is the door forever locked behind
I swore I'd never let you down

I saw it in your eyes
With no words spoken
Fed up with all the lies
Rendering your heart broken

I felt it in your touch
As you turned, and walked away
You were already gone, no matter how much
I tried to make you stay

I have to accept that you are gone
The cries of guilt still resound
Having to live with the things I have done
I wish I had never let you down...

the way this goes in the over-all concept --- seems more like lyrics...

[melissa]

This is amazing poem keep up the great work and keep sending me more to read i love reading them