Me Versus Me

A tale of an individual lost in the confines of his own personal conflict...

You want to kill the family

Mocks a hidden little voice

Use six pack or twelve pack

That is the weapon of choice

Hurting the very ones you love

Convinced that is all their fault

Twisted tops , your ammunition

Now begin your verbal assault

For you have been here forever

Familiar to me since birth

All relationships routinely severed

Along with my own self worth

So convincing and cunning

I turn your neck up for fun

Away from myself I keep running

To the bottle like barrel of gun

Longing to slow down or quit

So often unsuccessfully tried

But you will inevitably  become

My prolonged suicide

I will die with you

You have so often shown

Must you make it an issue

That I shall die alone

You have me where you want me

On your numbness I can depend

Blinded by you , I cannot see

Unable to defend

Allowing a touch of sanity

Barely enough to survive

Vacation escape from humanity

Keep me feeling barely alive

I deny you with a vengeance

You sense my ability to care

How can I honestly think

That there could be good times without you there

I realize you have become a problem

An omnipresent force

So let the bottles fall as they may

Letting addiction run its own course

You have come back with a vengeance

Now relapse has taken the floor

Breaking through my walls of resistance

Showing my trace of sanity to the door

For you are a part of my life

Wishing I would never have met you

Causing so much turmoil and strife

I never would have let you

A false sense of security

You offer up so unwillingly

Lost in a world of obscurity

With upward mobility

After a night in your arms

Full of paranoia and worry

Being deceived by your charms

Having to purchase a patent on "sorry"

Apologize for my aggression

For it has so many uses

Lethargy and depression

Are the root of all of my excuses

For I am tired and worn

Having hurt the ones I love

I retire my thistle for thorn

Hope, strangling the dove

So sorry I denied you

Surrender to you my life

Addiction , all consuming

Standing here impaled, having fallen on the knife.