Loneliness is a drug I can’t escape

am listening to mitski while in the dumps, so just enjoy this poem about loneliness

Loneliness is a drug I can’t escape
A feeling which has stayed burrowed within me all my life, morphing itself into a part of my essence, of what and who i am
An illness that has forever changed who I am, how I think, act, and feel
The signs of loneliness aren’t usually that noticeable, silently brewing inside of you, waiting for the chance to erupt
The first stage occurs when a situation where you get left out from the bunch occurs
No matter how small or petty this situation can be, there will always be a suffocating feeling in your heart, as if all that loneliness pent up inside you has finally erupted and corrupted your heart
The second stage is when you start to notice yourself snapping at people, lashing out over the smallest things
You find people remarking about how you used to be such a good mannered, perfect child, and whatever happened to you
To be honest, not even you know what could’ve caused you to change like this
The third stage happens when you start to disassociate yourself from everyone, always staying alone and wallowing in your own feelings
All the energy saps out from your body, leaving your eyes and brain to rot away from all the exposure to the internet
The fourth stage occurs when you’re finally all alone, left with nothing but your own thoughts consuming you inside out
Nobody is there to comfort you, yet all that fills your mind are the voices your brain has conjured to try and salvage your sanity
The final stage, the point of no return, is when all the emotion from your body is suddenly drained out, like a hole at the bottom of a bucket
Any sort of emotions have been severed from your heart, leaving your body and soul as only a husk of itself
All will to live and all contributions to the world have ceased, leaving you with no place to go but that where the souls of the lost and in vain must go
With no passerby to help the flame and the cold, harsh wind only causing it to become weaker and weaker, the once powerful and feared flame is now forced to succumb to the forces of nature
But what do I know? Some people are destined to always be this way, hollow puppets in a world of full, fleshed out humans.

Author's Note

I understand that some parts have varying emotion and detail, that’s usually a habit i have with my writing😭