Chapter Four

Chapter 4

Jae

  When I open up my eyes, Asher's arms are around me. I feel a fuzzy warmth spreading throughout my body, a goofy smile appearing on my face. I try to move away, scared someone would see; but he wraps his arms around me and nuzzles into my neck, clearly still mostly asleep and unaware of what he’s doing. I blush and smile wider. He has no idea how big of an impact he has on me, so I just lean into the touch and enjoy it. 

     It’s a Saturday, and my sister isn’t home for another few hours.  We’re safe. I glance up at him, smiling softly as he opens his eyes. He starts to smile, but he quickly turns it into a scowl, pulling away roughly. I pout without realizing until I see myself in my peripheral vision in the mirror. I catch Ash’s eye, and his hesitation to leave is palpable.

     

     “Listen, just because we..” Hesitation. “Cuddled.. Doesn’t mean anything at all to me, you f*****g geek. Understand? You’re still a nerd that’s worth absolutely nothing to me. It was just f*****g heat in the God forsaken moment,” he growled, the quivering lie in his voice audible. I nod, surprised about the change in treatment. He stares at me for a second longer than before he gets up, grabbing his things and leaving. 

    I feel a pang of hurt before going to where he was laying, inhaling his scent from the pillow. His scent is like expensive cologne, cigarettes, and alcohol. Toxic yet alluring.

Rolling over, I see a piece of red cloth sticking out in between my mattress and the wall. I don’t own any garment that’s this shade of red except my hat and scarf, both of which are tucked away in the winter closet. I tug on the fabric, and a hoodie five sizes too big for me comes out. The musky scent overwhelms me, but it's 100% Asher. I inhale his smell, smiling like a lovesick teenager.  Why am I like this? I love everything about him, regardless of the rules, despite him making my life a manic hell. 

I put on the jacket, the hoodie going down to my knees, reminding me how short I am compared to Ash. He’s, like, six foot something while I’m only five-foot nothing. 

“Jae. Come down and try this new yoga routine with me,” My sister's voice calls me out of my daydream about Ash. I yell coming from my room as I take one more long inhale of his scent off his hoodie before rolling off my bed and I head down stairs to do whatever grueling physical activity my sister has planned for us today.