Cigatettes

                I've been smoking since ten minutes ago, something I said I'd never do. But I like the feeling of the smoke coming in and drying up my lungs. I like the look of the burning embers as I suck in. I don't even mind the smoke I breathe out, as it lingers above me in the room.
I'm smoking now because of you. Maybe if I smoke, I can start to feel the death coming. I'll feel my lungs start to ache as I breathe, my eyes will get heavier than usual, and I'll like it. Any pain is better than the pain I feel when I think of you.
               Mom was a smoker, and Dad was, too. I always hated them for it, but now I know why they probably started; to look cool, to curb an appetite, to just relax. They're addicted now, but I'd say I'm not. Not to the cigarettes themselves, but to the feeling of the oncoming sickness. 
               Ah, I've been feeling so sick lately, but this is better than your disease. I feel wheezy and I haven't eaten in two days. As I do this to myself I think of all of those people in the world who are fighting so hard to live, and here I am fighting so hard to die. But I don't want to really just die, I'd rather it be a slow one. Maybe if I start to die nice and slow, it will give me time to see something actually nice for once. Wishful thinking, I guess.
             I'm on my fourth cigarette. Oh, that was the best one so far.

Reviews

[ashley]

I liked this a lot. Very well written, as all of your work is.

[Tony]

I used to smoke so much I was convinced I was reincarnated from a dragon.
Now that I live in a place free of hidden corruption and taxes, I smoke a couple packs a week.
I enjoy it. And I believe it only kills people who think it will or are otherwise ignoring their vessel, leaving it open to compromise.
I liked this, because it sounds off the top of your head. Easy, conversational.

[Lydia]

I really like this. I started smoking because it was something I could control. At the time, I felt like I couldn't control life or death, so maybe I'd smoke a cigarette to take seven minutes off my life just for the hell of it. I don't smoke much anymore, but I can really relate to this piece. Your thoughts are inspiring; they're much like my own.

[Theresa]

I was a smoker starting at age twelve and quiting at seventeen. As I read this it really hit home to me. The way you feel about cigarettes yet you smoke anyway, knowing what it does yet it's as if you don't care, feeling guilty for slowly killing yourself knowing there are people praying for another day on earth. Sometimes atleast to me a single cigarette could be the answer to so many things. Great write, really enjoyed your view.

[Raevyne]

I really enjoyed this as a great piece of writing, regardless of any bias I have for or against smoking. The last two sentences really topped it off wonderfully.

[madimonstermassh]

I really like this, I don't know if it's based on experiences, but I'd almost have to assume it was because this is such a fantastic account of a first-time smoker.
I love the last line. It wraps it up so perfectly.

[Essie]

I must say I found this write really intriguing. I understand the feeling and longing to forget or at least have an outlet other than dealing with what truly is bothering you. The cigarettes seem to be a way of hurting oneself physically to deal with emotional hurt- a way out. Well done- I enjoyed the read and really appreciate how it is so personal and well worded and paced.

[Marianne Miller]

I don’t' think you make smoking sound inviting at all, in fact I'd say the opposite, from your poem I feel the narrator is looking for some control over their life and their body. To me it seems that their looking to hurt themselves in order to overcome external pain, their looking to reclaim their emotions for themselves. I actually really enjoyed this its my first review so I'm sorry for waffling. The non-descript problem the narrator is suffering from also adds to them taking that control back. If you deliberately didn't disclose the problem I think it was a great move. Again, by not telling the reader the reason for starting to smoke it protects the narrator from further hurt by it and allows their own actions, their own decision to hurt themselves be the focus of the plot. Very well done, well paced and an interesting angle of approach.

[deeps]

I'm not a smoker. But I don't believe it causes every living doease out there. I've known people to live an ripe old age that smoked. So i think it's bull dieases are related to it. That isn't always true. I was rasied in a house full of smokers didn't influence me to at all. I like what you had to say here.

[Moyo]

Wow, you make smoking sound so positive, you make sound like something worth doing. But I know that wasn't quite your intention. This was very creative, I like it.