love/ lost /confused

what was wrong with me. Why were my feelings around her so extreme. How come by heart caved at the mention of her boyfriend. I' adored her. nobody could adore her quite the same. At least she knows it

There are many moments
Through out my day
I think about
what it would be like
to not have to live
through this
when the hurt is greater
than the desire
to do anything else
at all.
I'm not delusional
I know I’m sick
to think like this
but in hindsight it's
of no use here.
The matter of fact's
cannot take the power
out of my feelings
for her.