Pains Within

Let me know what you think, please. Have I gotten better? Worse? Or just too dull to judge? What can I improve upon?

I told myself I wouldn't cry,
I told myself, "Just one last time!"
I told myself that I'd be fine,
But here I am,
Alone and crying.
Here are the tears
I'm finally finding,
But you'd never know,
I'm constantly hiding.
Giving up,
Or so it seems,
For my life is made up of broken dreams.
Yes I cried,
Believed your lies,
Saw this side,
And within, I died.
I'm sorry I tried
(Oh can you forgive me?)
I'm sorry I cried
(You weren't supposed to see)
These are my emotions,
They cut so deep,
These wounds bind my flesh,
Making me weep.
So yes, I'm sorry,
Yes, I feel dead,
Caught in these lies
Full of never-ending dread.
What cut me so deep,
It isn't nearly myself,
These things that cut the most,
They come from your shell.
(hate anger lies)
Yes, this hatred,
It cuts me so deep,
All that you showed me
Left me constantly weak.
Oh how I've tried,
But you'll never see
All of the pains inside of me.
You'll never see these pains in ink,
You won't even glimpse these pains with me.
For if I ever, ever let you see,
You'd walk away,
Break right through me,
Like you did when you hurt us so long ago,
You'd do it again,
To these lives who were so unknown.
These lives that were once,
But never again, shown.

Reviews

[Aristede Craig Jr]

i see no problem but write as if out of control than grab it and control it and see what happens one word subjects ,... its fun and helps

[∂αʌ<..]

perhaps you could break the poem into more stanzas...use a bolder font!
i think it would be more representative and much more pleasant to read!
your writing has definitely improved...just go ahead and just keep writing!