Toast can never be bread again

Saturday night, the new movie he wanted to see was out. Finally, one day we were early to the showing, two hours early, so we get in his big Ford truck and drive to the Bass Pro Shops next door. We are arguing once again for a reason unknown, once again. He gets out of the truck and waits for me, always sweet, I jump out and start walking, I walk right past him. He follows my lead, anger in his heavy footsteps. All of a sudden he's tugging on my hand, always sweet, he wanted to hold it. Let's go, he says loudly pulling me toward him. People are staring. He pulls me back to the truck and releases my hand when we're a few feet away. I get in reluctantly. I can't take this s**t anymore, he yells. F**k you, I don't want to be with you, I yell back. We both mean it.
The parking lot is congested with hundreds of cars and people and he can't seem to get out of there fast enough. This has happened a million times before, no big deal... He's yelling at me and I stare at him with a blank face while he unleashes all the things he's held back before. I don't respond and he gets angrier. We're finally on the highway home. An hour never felt so long.
He's calling someone, making plans for tonight. Fine, we can both play that game. I start texting Sofia, she's going to the club, I tell her what happened and she makes me promise to go with her. I begin to apply makeup. Eye makeup specifically, dark and sexy. He slaps the truck mirror shut. I can't believe you're getting ready to go out, probably with your w***e friend Sophia. He's right and I don't respond. Let's try this again. I open the mirror and he tells me to do it at home. I feel bad so I stop. He calls his brother and asks if he wants our movie tickets. We stay silent.
My jeep is at my parents house so he takes me straight there and I get out and slam the door. I keep up the charade and run in the house smiling and waving at him. He speeds off. I get up stairs and call Sophia, she's always there when I need her. They're leaving in an hour. I throw on a blush metallic halter with an open back and a black body con mini skirt along with my new platform pumps I got from Kyle's aunt. I leave home and drive 30 minutes to Sophia's.
I get to Sophia's parents house and everyone is there including people I don't know. I feel uncomfortable and they all poke fun at me. Sophia's mom says hello, she's never seen me like this and she's staring me up and down. I feel even more shy. I run to Sophia's room and she tells me to lighten up. This has never been my thing. It doesn't even feel right to be here but I'd rather not be alone right now. I should go to Kyle's house..
Everyone climbs into Manuel's SUV. I'm in the very back with Sophia. There's a new guy in the front with Manuel. I don't mention him. From back here he looks like a weirdo and he's glued to his phone. Sophia tells me I look pretty, I return the compliment. Nadia starts dominating conversations. She is so beautiful, everything about her is beautiful, even her husband. Wow. She loves attention. She flirts with Manuel and the new guy, Fernando, and her husband shoots her a disapproving stare. She turns around and starts talking to Sophia. She makes fun of me for being so quiet. Why won't she leave me alone?
I think about texting Kyle. We arrive at the club. Sophia walks beside me. She can be very reassuring sometimes. I'm the only one that's single, other than Fernando. He's gorgeous. He's completely ripped, dark wavy hair, 6 feet tall. I miss Kyle. We get inside and my old dance partner isn't here tonight. He's a chubby older guy that dances amazingly and while he has expressed feelings toward me, he has always been respectful and never crossed any lines with me. I wish he were here to distract me.
I sit at a table next to the bar. Suddenly, I have 8 mixed drinks from various guys. I never drink but f**k it. I drink some and give some to Sophia and Nadia. Only a few guys ask me to dance. I think they can see that I'm not very happy. One of the dancers buys me a beer. And another. And another. I go find my group again. I'm a little more lively now. I have a few more beers.
House music is playing and Sophia and Nadia start dancing on each other in the middle of the crowd. Nadia's husband is pushing me to join them. Does he think this is how girls have fun? Dancing for men's enjoyment? Is he attracted to me? I join them, I guess I'm weaker under pressure than I thought. Lie. I see Fernando staring at me. He's so gorgeous and I want his attention. He's too cute for me. There's a roar of cheers as I grind on Nadia. She doesn't like that so she stops dancing and Sophia follows. So intuitive. Nadia puts her arms around her husband and he puts his arms around her but he's smiling at me. Sophia is playing around with Manuel and I'm standing next to Fernando.
I'm quiet again. Dancing like that was so awkward. Standing here alone is just as awkward. A waitress comes by and Manuel offers to buy me a beer. I accept willingly. I'm drunk by now but Kyle is still on my mind. I wonder what he's doing. He's probably at home. That wonderful, innocent, loving man. I should have stayed home.
All of a sudden the beer hits me and the group must realize it because they're asking me if I think Fernando is cute. Of course I do, I just smile and look down. He smiles at me. My legs feel like they're going to give out. He looks away. He's shy too.. That's adorable. All of a sudden I find myself kissing him right there in front of everyone. I have my arms around him and his hands are lightly on my hips and his mouth on mine feels amazing. I wonder if I'm turning him on. Everyone is exclaiming. They succeeded. Were they trying to get me over Kyle? Probably. Sophia is like that. That's what she would do. Go f**k someone else. No mourning period. What a bad road this would send me down but I go ahead choose it. I start to feel dizzy. A public make out session with my eyes closed was a bad idea for my stomach. Thank god it's time to go.
We go back to Manuel's SUV and I jump in the back. Nadia and her husband take the front seat and Manuel and Sophia take the middle, leaving Fernando to get in the back with me. Oh no. What's going on? I say nothing. Sophia turns around and starts talking to me and gives Fernando and I a couple of beers. My head starts pounding and feel ever more nauseated. I lean over and rest my head on Fernando's shoulder. He kisses me on the forehead. Kyle does that.. I feel a false sense of love. My head falls to his lap and I start playing with his c**k. I want to secure his attention. I feel the need to use him to get over Kyle. I quietly start sucking on his hot and throbbing member. It's bigger than Kyle's. I do all the things that Kyle loves. I suck slowly and deep. I twirl my tongue gently around his big head. Fernando explodes in my mouth in no time. I keep sucking and then I sit up slowly and spit into an empty beer bottle and fall asleep until we get home.