She

She

By

Jose M. Euvin

 

I sit there watching her once again

Wondering

Where’s she going?

Where’s she from?

Where did she come from?

Who can she be?

 

I heard her name many times before

But yet

I still don’t know who she is

 

She sits there quietly and often smiles

She looks like she hurts inside

What pain does she hide?

Under those immense eyes

 

Who can she feel for?

Or who has done her wrong

Why if not this man

Than who

 

I sit here and stare once again

Still trying to figure out

Why that sudden smile

Masked with so much pain

 

I dare not ask

For I rather wonder

And sit here as I watch her

Unfold in front of me

 

Her smile says much

Her eyes tell her story

 

Yet her lips never moved!

 

Reviews

[Spoken]

Some suggestions:

I site (sit) there watching her once again

Where she's going?
Where she's from?

"Where's she going?"
"Where's she from?"

the way you wrote it means 'where she is going' 'where she is from' which isn't really a question... more like a statement.

I head (heard) her name many times before
But yet
I still don't know who she's is (she is)... the apostrophe 's' reads as "she is is"

That said....

I dare not ask
For I rather wonder
And sit here as I watch her
Unfold in front of me

Her smile says much
Her eyes tell her story

Yet her lips never moved!

I love these lines. the image of her "unfolding in front of you" very nice. Just so you know I only point out these grammar mishaps to help, but it doesn't take away from the poem, for me, at all. I often have reviews of people telling me how I misspelled this, that, or the other... and I'm grateful, so don't take it negatively I really enjoy your work!

[melissa]

I been there before I met my husband so I can relate to the woman in the poem I hope you keep the poems coming because they are great poems

[L.G. Knight]

really a wonderful write! The only question i have is why did you ask
"where's she from?
Where did she come from?"

That threw me off a minuite because it was a repeat of basically the same question other than that I was enthralled... Thanks so much for sharing...

~Frances~

[Nana Carmine]

Wow. That was really beautiful. The words flow together so well. I feel so many people have the ability to tell stories without words. Thank you for sharing.

~Nana Carmine

[Lore]

sweet poem, very simplistic yet it is quite deep. i experienced that, see a girl that looks like she is in trouble, and i jsut want to get to know her, i long to know her. because it looks like she is trying to reach out. sweet

[SweetPeachesAlways]

Her eyes tell her story - great line!
Good flow...good write.

[The Tao of Bri]

This is a brilliant write, immersing us i the thoughts and inquring into to ourselves as much as she...nice!~B

[Kelly D. Burris]

You always read the misery and pain in the eyes. We can read so much from a person, without talking to them. Nice job here. I really liked it.
Kelly

[Eponine Roy]

"Her smile says much

Her eyes tell her story



Yet her lips never moved..."

I absolutely loved those last lines. The rest of the poem built up nicely to the end.

[K.Jones]

I agree with Spoken. Needs some punctuation and work. Just because your thoughts run together doesn't mean the reader likes it that way. But the meat of this poem is as powerful as TNT. It blows your senses to smitherine. Loved the line about her lips never moved. Brush up on your grammar and syntax and you are ready to go! You're poem is a winner.

[pal]

"I sit here and stare once again
Still trying to figure out
Why that sudden smile
Masked with so much pain"

so true.. these lines express the imagination of the person watching her.. you..
lovely poem.
pal