Free Fall

Free Fall

By

Jose M. Euvin

 

I’m screaming my heart out

Yet you can’t see

I’m dying without you

Please come back to me

 

All the time that I lost

How long will it last

Before it gets worse

Reminiscing the past

 

As time goes on

I start to look back

It’s time to move on

And get back on track

 

I lost all desires

But whose there to blame

The mirror don’t lie

It reflects all my shame!

 

Desires are lost

Decisions are not

Freedom is granted

And lost in a flash

 

Suicidal tendencies

Disturbing my life

Before me is a cliff

Should I take the dive?

 

I take one last breath

And make my decision

Here comes the fall

The end of my mission!

 

Reviews

[*** Hey Jude***]

The pain of losing a loved one can be paralizing. I like the way you have expressed these intense emotions in poem! ~ N

[Fran Marie]

Intense and sad emotions brought forth in this
very well written and deeply expressed poem~
Fran Marie

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

you can see the emotions pouring out of this piece... its a great piece -

i agree with angelheaded hipster -- about the breaking the cycle... it works - trust me- i know - its good to write your feelings now - but the only way to start to feel better and heal is to start writing about other subject matter...

[T. L. O'Neal]

You seem to be in pain over a lost love, it's good that you're writing about it. I enjoyed the layout of the poem and the rhyming. T

[Queen of the Damned]

The heartache is really felt in this piece. I think many can relate. I really like this...saving it to one of my favs.

[kristyn=]]

Wow it is interesting... i like it

KEEP AT IT!!!=]

[['tatiz speis]]

Pwerful. I like the rhythm you have here, the beat of the words.

[Michael X]

jose, the fall could easily be interpreted as falliing
out of self, creating a new perspective in order to
move on, there is a sense of wanting to start with
fresh beginnings in order to escape turmoil of the
heart, created by life and its weathering factors,
though by using the word "suicide" gave the ambiece
a feel that darkens the outlook, written in poetical
fashion, thanks for sharing your talent, take care, mike

[Ladysue]

This is a very sad poem and losing love is one of the worst feeling that we experience. Orlando, is right "NO ONE is worth taking the plunge." I know it is a very painful feeling and I sympthazie with you. The future holds a lot of promise for good things and really good feelings once we get out of the depths of love loss. Life is very parculiar that way. Something can feel so devastating and then all of sudden something happens and all is right again. Hang in there, my friend! A great write!!

[Spoken]

Desires are lost
Decisions are not
Freedom is granted
And lost in a flash

This has a different rhyme scheme to the rest of the poem which through me off a bit, maybe it's the placement.. more towards the end rather than middle. Though I think I see your intent to create a 'break' for the reader. That said The title and it's contents fit perfectly. first talking about loss and all the pain it comes with, then as you 'fall' (time goes on) you get lost in yourself or loss yourself completely and decide to end the suffering. It is a well played out 'free fall' experience. thanks for sharing!

[Heidi]

wow. very sad and i didnt see that coming