The sheer emotion in this piece is what strikes me as the most inviting. You can nearly feel and hear this girl as she screams for release. Your flow is amazing, if a teensy bilt stilted. Personally, I believe this enhances the read. How can one create amazing, smooth rhythms when life itself does not work that way?
"The silence amends
The worse of my fears"
... this was my favorite line! (even though it should be "worst" not "worse") The work is beautiful angst! we've all been here, you make the reader afraid, for the writer who seems to be so sad, and for ourselves because we can all relate to this feeling. very solid piece! phenomenal emotion!
This is a well thought out poem with something to say. I have known that silence of the the heart with the coming of death. The silence allowed my soul to hear.
This definitely had a flow. Accepting the inevitable is always hard. You want to scream out for help, for someone else to rescue you from an understanding, that can only hurt. Your poem talks about fear and frustration, and does a very good job of it.
What a desperate cry we have here. To be held in this world be it a minute, a day or a lifetime is too too long.... The writing is so very much like a prayer or a plea to be understood.... The heart's really silent when there's nothing left.... this says so much to me - it breaks mine and holds it hostage....
To me this piece speaks of the helpless feeling of having to hold everything within unable to tell what is happening to them when they know they should be shouting it aloud to all but are trapped from doing so. It is a terrible feeling and you have described it well. Whatever it means to each reader all can relate, as is reflected in your glowing reviews. Best wishes, Bethlynne.
If there be grief, then let it be but rain,
And this but silver grief for grieving's sake,
If these green woods be dreaming here to wake
Within my heart, if I should rouse again.
But I shall sleep, .. more..