Room for Two

The tentative title was "The Gifts of Being Strange" but it totally went somewhere else haha.

 

Outside of sea-shells,

inside the entrails of

small snails sits, solemnly,

the recipe for

madness

smeared on

the boots of

skipping school kids

who skip to the

beats banged on

plastic drums in

plastic slums that

I heard from the conk's whisper,

screamed, not so long ago

in my ear from the

inside of sea-shells.

 

My ear is,

now,

capable of hearing the frowns,

beyond the sounds...

the gift of

decades spent

(like money lent)

is cashed in for

heaven-sent angels

plummeting

graciously towards my

still-heart like meteors

lapsing into

meteorite status

or

into the stratosphere's attic.

 

Meanwhile, building this

apparatus to reach up and

grab it, my hand and

heart burn

deep as

flames of entry seer all

that's organic till flesh drips

off hand and muscles

expand and swell,

exposing man,

his rawness, his animal...

now a boney beast with

thumping heart that

thunderously bashes against

diaphragm's dirges.

 

I may not look the same to you

absent the features that

trapped inside my

creature

but

I am the same,

just now I can

no longer hear those frowns or

hear those towns...

and now

inside the cage

for my heart

there is

room for two.

 

Reviews

[Katrina]

urgh. just urgh. seriously. how did you get so brilliant? it just doesn't seem fair you got all of it. i think if there was a god it should've been spread around a little bit, which only confirms my non-faith. anyway, enough about me and the injustice of the world... onto your poem.

SECOND STANZA. uhm, yes! yes! yes! "heaven-sent angels / plummeting /graciously towards my / still-heart like meteors / lapsing into / meteorite status / or / into the stratosphere's attic." that is just wow. heart-stalling, earth-shaking awesomeness. it made me blink stupidly in awe [ something i'm almost used to when it comes to you...]

and i especially loved the end. it's pretty clever, and i love the image of it. hearts are such fickle and complex things, and there's just so many things you can do with it. but room for two, and in the sense you used it, was very new and interesting. so hats off to you in that sense.

i can see a little bit how you started off in one place and ended up in another, but that's the journey, isn't it? and it's always good to take your readers on a journey of sorts.

wow, long review much? d-bag.

xxx

[Nik Dendera]

Very heartfelt and honest-you never find honesty these days in poems.

You have a magical way with words, and as I cannot write free form to save my life, I have respect for you!

"My ear is,
now,
capable of hearing the frowns," That line is just... brilliant! I can't pick out just one defining part of this because it has many wonderful features to it. The structure and the flow are excellent, along with your beautiful wording.