Running backwards (Scissors Optional)

I just wrote this so it may need editing..I don't know..let me know.

When the gravity of selfishness

has become so overwhelming

that it collapses into itself

violently, tearing a void into

existence and again

 

Violently, others are drawn

to your desolation by the

pull of your gravity and the

emotional destruction it

causes and

 

Silently, you observe children

tasting their tears for the first

time and conclude quite brilliantly,

that life is but a short conclusion

to a long bitter death in someone

elses eyes and

 

Erratically, you learn to walk

intentionally into the paths of

oncoming pedestrians just so

you can find an excuse to say

"F**k you!" (in your head)...then,

and only then will you attain

the exact opposite of what the

fearful would call spiritual enlightenment,

if they can pronounce it,

for you have then

 

Shoved life in its face and

used it as a weapon to conquer

death.

Mazel tov!

Please turn around and quit

talking to yourself, you sound

like an ape lost in-canto.

 

Reviews

[No]

this is absolutely goddamn brilliant.
it makes clear sense, and i love the elusiveness of it, rather than keeping it entirely straightfoward. each word seems branded to the next. my favorite lines:
Silently, you observe children

tasting their tears for the first

time and conclude quite brilliantly,

that life is but a short conclusion

to a long bitter death in someone

elses eyes

[Lady Lazarus.]

Shoved life in its face and
used it as a weapon to conquer
death.
Mazel tov!
Please turn around and quit
talking to yourself, you sound
like an ape lost in-canto.


this poem is overwelminly great.
being stuck in the past can destroy ones future.
negativity breeds the negative.
just beautifully done...

[Nicole Clarice Anna Wie..]

One of my favorites of yours definately. - and yes it has occured to me that I happen to like everything of yours that I read - So far anyways.
This piece is more of a quick read, compared to the other 2 with the obscure style about them. It flows amazingly, but every word still grasps onto me. This poem kept my attention throughout - and did it amazingly - And your words still linger in the air.
Also, I loved the ending. Great change of pace.

another amazing write.

[Ari]

This is a great read! It has definately gotten me interested in the rest of your work, and the ending is just unbelievable.

[Tessa]

MIKEY!!!!!! this was wonderful. lots of good imagery. but i especially liked the third stanza. don't know why... maybe because it's probably the most depressing of all of them. haha

[Dizzy-Izzy]

Hello, this is the first time I have read any of your work. I have a couple of quotes to share that came to mind as I read the piece, I hope you don't mind...

"Silently, you observe children
tasting their tears for the first
time and conclude quite brilliantly,
that life is but a short conclusion
to a long bitter death in someone
elses eyes"

The part about life being a conclusion to a long bitter death... reminds me of this quote...

We die only once, and for such a long time- Moliere

Love that, heartily agree!

I don't know that much about Moliere but, I heard this quote once and things like that stick in my brain for some reason, like my birthday, I never forget...

"only then will you attain
the exact opposite of what the
fearful would call spiritual enlightenment"

Buddha called enlightenment "progressive disillusionment." Are you saying one has to be afraid to be enlightened? Then the person shoving his/her way through life with the "F**k you" attitude is disillusioned...yes? I am over analyzing... I do that ... ... a lot.

I didn't know what in-canto was... you taught me something new... my favorite thing, learning something new that is.... "In-canto" means "in song" in italian. Did you know that Youtube has a video of Andrea Bocelli singing it? It is just beautiful.

I have to admit that I talk to myself sometimes (really) it has new meaning to me now... "an ape in song." Ahhh... magnifico!

I don't know if your poem needs editing. I like it the way it is but, I am no expert on these things. I thought you might like to know, that you created curiosity in a reader and caused her to learn more. Thank you, have a great night...

Kristina

[Katrina]

i really liked this. i don't think it seemed incomplete at all. the part about children tasting their tears for the first time -- just effin awesome. a really, really great write.

xxx