Daddy

Can you figure it out?

Hands moving closer,

Body moving to mine,

Circling my body,

Me pleading and screaming,

Whispering ''stop it'',

Heart beating,

Oh so quick,

Waiting for my angel to save me,

The pain of knowing it will not cease my pleas,

Seeing the knife,

Being pulled out from below the darkness,

Place where no child should have to go,

Hands fingering it,

Bringing it closer,

My sobs getting louder,

Cloth gagging me,

Eyes widening,

Blood pouring out of me,

Shearing pain,

Knife opening into my skin,

Tearing at my broken soul,

Last whisper

''Daddy''

Author's Note

This is a short poem that needs honest feedback!

Reviews

[Matthew Kult]

Hello Kelly,

Being a sick demented f**k, the first place I went was molestation, so I read it again, and it could be a plea for help for daddy from a girl being raped. I can go on and on...I am quite that disturbed. But it's sweet and elegant. if this is your style...You will love me.

...I think its good, I think some minor editing issues. Nothing severe or that take away from the poem. Excellent work.

Regards,

Matthew

[Crow]

This is an excellent piece, though sad, you have portrayed the imagery well. The beauty of poetry is it may take many forms unlike a story, punctuation, grammar, and word usage may be utilized more freely.

[Coyote Poetry]

No easy or nice way to describe rape and abuse. Poor children who learn what evil man can do will never heal. The poem told a sad story. I don't understand how a father could hurt or wound his child. A powerful and sad story.
Coyote

[Ruth]

Intense!
Seems as though the person has subjected to cruelty and needs the father protection :) I think this is really good hon, the less than obvious quality to it is intriguing!
Great poem
xx

[SimonitroX]

Whoa! This is somewhat messed up! The person should be the one to protect his precious little girl but he has turned into a monster or something.

Someone should stop drinking and taking drugs. I believe he works as a truck driver... that would explain it.

Anyway, it is an interesting poem and it is quite dark. Well, who am I to kid about dark stuff? But anyway, this is a pretty creepy poem to say the least.

[Brandon]

I honistly agree with Matthew, but i liked it. It was interesting. Keep up the good work.


100/100

[Bee]

Though-provoking poem. Anyone can interpret this into anything. This is good writing.

[Greg Skura]

Sad and tragic and very to the point! Nicely done! Thank you for sharing!

[Solitaire-P0ette]

WOW....Thats really scary....you mystery of who is using the "knife" is very chilling. I had to read it a second time to grasp on to what was happening. very deep and emotional poem.

[Venompen]

This may be the single darkest piece of literature I have ever read. Chilling, horrifying, and eerily realistic.