a note to my father

about my father never being there and me finding a dad in my boyfriends father.

n.Father:

                  A man who adopts  a child.

                     A man who raises a child.

     A male parent.

 

v. fa·thered, fa·ther·ing, fa·thers

v.tr.

1. To procreate (offspring) as the male parent.

2. To act or serve as a father to (a child).

3. To create, found, or originate.

4. To acknowledge responsibility for.

 

 

 

 

 

The dictionary definition of the word father.a noun,meaning a person,place,thing or idea.but which does it really fall under? father,i think of a man,looking lovingly onto his children,watching them grow,catching them when they fall and punishing them when they mess up. teaching them to be proud yet modest and loving yet firm.

 

A Father means so many things...

A friend for life.

A understanding heart.

A source of strength and of support

Right from the very start.

A constant readiness to help

In a kind and thoughtful way.

With encouragement and forgiveness.

No matter what comes your way.

A special generosity and always affection too.

A Father means so many things.

That’s why we admire them and love them.

Author Unknown

 

a father is neither man nor woman,a father is a figure,and idea but a solid one.some one who rubbes off on you with out notice.the rock of your role models.a father is some one who cares as much all the same whether you skin your knee or if you fail a test.a father loves as much as he cares,but fathers have odd ways of showing it sometimes.they can yell and they can give you the meanes looks.the greatest heart breaker for a child isnt when a parent hits them for doing something wrong.no, that shows that your still there,makes you seem like you exist in there eyes the worst thing for a child to experience is dis appointment.the look you dad gives you when he knows you can do better.that look that says youve fallen from grace.we cant all be princesses and princes for ever.we all eventually loose out balance.

 

"My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me." - Jim Valvano

 

believing insome one is the greatest thing a father can do.we look up to our parents.but we are human ,we always want what we cant have.i didnt really have a father growing up.i had a sperm donor and a slave driver.i always had a mother,though through my stubborn years i questioned sometimes.but a father i never really held on to.alot of people know the feeling.the man you never really knew who seems to always be there but never really is there. he was around sure and he did show that fatherly side on rare occasions,but thats what killed me.i knew it was there,and i couldnt find away to keep it there.i tried with school.my grades never made him happy.and i wasnt good in sports.he never looked at me with pride in his eye.he never once told me he was proud of me.

 

"You're the Father I never had
And Your love never changes, through the good times and the bad
You're the Father I never had
Just hold me in Your arms and heal me of the past and be the Father I never had"

-joel engle

 

so finally when some one comes into my life and took that role,guess how i felt.i felt like i had reason.i had that father figure that was so proud of who i am,flaws and all.i felt like all the other girls who had a moma and a daddy.every one els who had a respectable mother and father.i didnt get to be daddys little princess when i was a child.but now that seemed erased.like i could for get that and move on.like i was now a young woman who had role models she could count on,and she called those role models her parents.

he wasnt mine though...

 

"we are never decieved; we decieve ourselves"

-johann wolfgang von goethe

 

he wasnt my father,but some one dear to me's father.he wasnt the man who had been there all my life,watched me grow from an infant to a young adult.he knew me a few months.but i grew attached.

he is my father,though sometimes he may forget.sometimes he fights me,and i fight back.stubborness rubbs off.

 

Your beautiful baby from the outside in.
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again.
Go on, take on this whole world.
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl.
    -tim mcgraw

 

never will i have my father say this to me,and ive come to terms with that.though a father dosent mean some one who climbed on top of your mom and knocked her up,itd still be nice to hear loving words from that man.i wasnt searching for a father,just like he wasnt lookig for a daughter.but we found each other.and we fight and we argue,and were proud and disappointed.but isnt that life.isnt that,even though dysphunctinal,what a real fahter is?

 

im writing this to my dad.that three letter word means sooo much.im writing this to a man who tries to be a hero even though he sometimes needs saving himself.im writing this to a father whos doing the best he can.im writing this to a friend who is always there to talk to.

this is for every little princess whos ever searched for her daddy.

may you find him and a prince and live happily ever after.

 

 

             

Author's Note

please comment and share your own storys of how you fahter has been there for you,or how he hasnt.how you feel about a fahters love and how you think its important.