The crow on my shoulder, with those cold eyes, cooed in my ear as soft as a sigh. This bird had sat there, for forever and a day, because it was my parasite, forever it would stay. It reminded me of the hollow, forming in my chest, it kept intone with this screaming, this heart’s endurance test. But I was sick of it feeding on my anger and insecurity, this thorn in my side was a lie and its killing me. So I plucked its talons from my hollowed chest, where the skin ripped away, I bled like all the rest. The crow on my shoulder took flight and flew away, up top of a dead tree, while it watched upon its prey. The pain took control, demanding my mind, my legs buckled and gave way, I fell out of line. I checked on my shoulder, where the claws left mark, digging and sliding around the edge of my heart. It was messy and awful, the pain won’t go away, “you can’t have it all” to the crow I say. So I closed it with a bandage and sealed it with a kiss, I peeled my hands back , my fingers were reddened with this; blood from the innocent, tears from a child,arterys from my wounded heart, dripping and wild. I wiped my tainted hands, smeared blood on the grass, green with life, it wilted so fast, I took stride on my path, a new confidence in my step; I was ready to face what I ran from, ready to fight with every breath. Not long after, the crow took up its spot, on my shoulder it sat, tearing through the cloth. The blood flowed through and soaked down my chest, liquid filling this hollow the crows beak was at my neck. It whispered “I am your freedom, I am your chain, I am your loneliness, I am you shame, I am your company, your biological disease, I scare away the unwanted, I feed of your needs”
Its feathers were illustrious, lined with my pain, heavy like onyx, black like the shade, thats when I realized this crow was a part of me, it stemmed from deep within me like the roots of a tree. It fed from my anger and thrived from my pain, it lost from my company, playing a deadly game. But It also helped me, teaching me I was never alone, in return I harbored it, gave it a home. So we grew as companions, on our journey through life, feeding from one another, trying to survive. My crow sticks with me, through my ugly, it drinks from my beauty within, it loves me for me, forgiving my sins. One day without notice, my crow detached, it mended my wounds and climbed on my back. The bird screamed in pain, I t was a deathly sight, it morphed and it changed, during that autumn night. I slept that night, my first in many years, I woke with a start, what I saw deceived my fears. My crow merged into me, intwined our veins. Our hearts beat as one, our pulse beat the same. I was no longer a lonely girl, but a girl who would never be alone again, my chest no longer held a hollow but a creature within. I was an angel now avian in my blood; I could bring destruction like a raven or creation like a dove. I unfolded my new wings, and touched my new skin, I saw from my new eyes, felt longing from the wind. I took a running start and leapt in to the sky; I rose above the drama and soared above the lies. Now this bird has become me, its color has become my soul; we are forever together, loneliness no longer expanding this hole.
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