Through the eyes of my nose

A Story by Commander S.T

Through The Eyes of My Nose

Sniff! Sniff!

Oh my gosh, it’s spring ! Wait! That’s not good on my part. Since the seasons changed into this more pollinated stage, my allergies to pollen, seemed to have gotten the best of me. My eyes get swollen almost as if I was attacked by killer Hornets, if that’s even a real insect. Not only do my eyes look like that they look like the eyes of a bull enraged because take off towards that little red sheet that that small person holds wasn’t successful, and now this bull is even more angry because he missed, and that tiny person is shaking in his boots, while praying that he moves fast enough and the bull doesn’t turn around and hook him onto his horn.

I am allergic to freshly cut grass, hay (which is old dried up grass), pollen, and those little balls of dust in which I believe are called Dust Bunnies. But what makes me mad about that is, bunnies are cute and dust is just gray fur balls. I guess I can kinda see what the correlation is between the two, but still. It makes me mad.

So I wake up and it’s only about 12:35, and my bald-headed 40 something year old neighbor is cutting his ugly grass. I think his head line is receding Maybe if went out and bought a Chia Pet™, and spread the seeds evenly over his head he would look zero times better. But it would make the grass look a little livelier. So to my despair, one of my other neighbors is doing the same thing. The only difference is this is a family of two three-billion year old people. I think they’re Adam and Eve, or maybe Father Time and Mother Nature. Their grass looks as if it’s that fake grass that rich people obsess over like if someone walks on it it’s going to change the color or taint it. But the old man has one of those back in the day lawn mowers with the little rollie thing at the bottom, ha-ha it looks like a giant hair roller. For some reason based off of how old he looked, I could’ve pictured him with a mule drawn plow trying to tend to his farm (lawn). His grass smells like newly cut grass. It’s kinda hard to describe because everyone doesn’t like the smell, but compared to the Chia Pet™ guy’s grass at least it doesn’t smell like a farm.

As I’m slowly waking up, despite the fact that I was just observing people’s baldness, and ancientness, I am bum rushed by my eager little cousin. I think this child is deranged, like she will literally start wild’n out, and the only way to get her to stop is by telling her that I’m going to give her a swirly. Vocabulary checks, for those reading this that want to deny that they know what a swirly is. For these reasons; because it leads to deeper things such as being bullied as they were growing up. Or even just maybe you were hazed, as a hilarious prank by the jocks of each extra-curricular activity that your school offered. And then there are those of you who gave someone a swirly and still look back on that day bursting your spleen trying to stop that hyena like laughter that almost has you wetting yourself involuntarily.

Being that she is only three years of bad genes, I actually almost had to literally give her a swirly for her to understand that I meant BUSINESS. P.s no pun intended. After being attack by this banshee, to my discretion she ran to the window and began to “discover” what I had just been looking at and quickly became amazed at what she saw.

I am now fully awake and aware of my surroundings and am ready to leave. So without eating I jumped into the wonderful shower in which I claim as mine because it is MINE! Ending my shower I threw on some basketball shorts and began my adventure.

I venture off onto my journey of not knowingness, and then I realized that I did not take my stupid Claritin. So I rush to get away from all that grass, hay, pollen and dust bunnies form the trees, and it’s like everywhere I turn I’m around grass. Who knew the hood had grass that people cared about? So now because of the grass, the pollen, and me not being medicated, It brought me back to the time when I only had Naxonex for my allergies and it only stopped the sneezing and the congestion that comes with allergies.

I was maybe around seven years old and that’s when I first discovered my problem. I was all jolly and cheesy because it wasn’t cold outside and that meant extended playtime, and I looked in the mirror. What I saw in that mirror, I began to cry. I never looked at myself as being ugly until I realized that I looked like Will Smith in that movie Hitch after he had that allergic reaction to whatever it was that he ate and, started to slowly look like that thing from the Goonies, and Nutty Professor the fat version. Damn I just dogged myself. As a child, that look was a very depressing one. The caps on my two front teeth didn’t make the scene look any better. I had to endure the judgment of my sarcastic brother who says things along the lines of; don’t you look stunning today? , Good morning sleeping beauty and I won’t go on because it angers me. My grandmother, tried to tell me out a washcloth on my face to take down the swelling. Of course when she says that, my brother called me a bag head because I couldn’t show my face because I’m scaring the little kids, and the animals outside. Until this day, I never forgot to take my allergy medicine again, because that face was really a disgrace to the human race if I say so myself.

© 2012 Commander S.T

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roarke

Good stream of consciousness write, chock full of groovy similes and metaphors and center of focus visuals. Get it all down, that's the most important thing first. Using your allergies as a trigger for a write is a good way to develop your writing perspective. This way an enjoyable write to read.