The Dreams Begin

not finished yet just added what i could

I was alone once again in the pitch black comfort of my room, nothing but the sound of the ceiling fan to comfort me. Tonight was the beginning of the end of my alpha status unless I decide to take off. I have had this debate with myself one too many times in my 60 years, and was once again faced with the issue. My thoughts often keep me awake all hours of the night forcing me to take medication to help me to sleep but tonight was different. Within minutes of hitting my pillow I was out cold but still my thoughts haunted my dreams.

    I dreamt of a clearing in the middle of the night, the full moon hanging in the sky like it was about to fall upon the earth. Stars littered the sky like they were gathered here for a distinctive moment in time. I stood there alone, a human, when I noticed a small rock basin to my left. Slowly I made my way toward the basin and as I neared I leaned over and looked into the small pool of water inside. At first my human self starred back at me from the  rippled water of the basin, then as I stared into the blue of my own eyes my body morphed and I was faced with my inner wolf. Moments after eyes started showing up in the open water around my head, and one set stood out more so than the others. The deep brown and tint of green glowed beside my head like a beacon in the darkness of the night. My body turned and I was faced with the giant black wolf that had appeared in my lawn hours ago, and this time no emotion went through me I was feeling so numb and unaware. Suddenly out of the blue more giant wolves began to join the black one, each was blurry and gave off a frightening feeling, the most frightening was I couldn’t see their eyes.

    I woke in my bed in a cold sweat, my heart beating out of control. My skin was itching, and the inside of my body radiating that all too familiar burning feeling. My skin was tightening against my muscles, and my ears were starting to ring, making sitting in this damn bed unbearable. A run is what I needed  and a run was what I was going to do, and now was the perfect time for it.

    The moon outside was full in the sky, a light mist was floating through the forest and my ears could pick up all the night creatures coming out to play in their midnight paradise. Stripped down to nothing I stood at the edge of the forest and allowed the burning to radiate through my body, stronger now as I knelt down in a crouch. I could feel my body begin to tingle, then in an instant explosion I felt myself transform. It didn't hurt like the first few times anymore, now I just felt amazing. The reasoning behind the hurt I think is that those first few times your mind is focused more on the physical change than the pure magic of the change. Nothing beats your body being morphed into a more agile, more physically able creature that is still almost completely yourself.

    I was now that beautiful monest that i have hated most my life. You would think that something with pure white fur and the brilliant blue eyes of an angel would be heaven sent, a saviour instead of a murderer. Truth being said the warm, strong blood now flowing through my veins was more of a killers blood than that of the sarcastic, cocky, sixty year old teenager that is myself. No matter how hard I fight, no matter how many times I win the fight, I am always far from winning the war. In wolf form my predator instincts are almost impossible to control and that includes my blood lust. That's why when i move to a new town I make sure that forest I run through is secluded enough that the only innocent bystander that might cross my path would be a rabbit or a deer. Rabbit blood may not sustain me like human blood would but I prefer it because to me it is less painfull to kill a rabbit. Also I don't feel as much like a monster for doing it either.

    I ran through the forest for hours, hunting, playing, and killing until the sun slowly began to rise. Instead of running to my house as a wolf i let my body transform back into my human self and walked slowly back. I'm in no rush to get back. So many things that i was trying to get through my head before eight o'clock.