The Cage

My catharsis.

If this happened today,

I would scream,

Would fight.

Kick.

Claw.

And leave.

I would

Make you regret the day your interests

Preyed upon my innocence.

But when we met, I hadn’t hit this point yet.

 

You slapped me beneath your body like sliced bread,

All I could say was

No, no, no.

I didn’t think it’d happen this way,

I thought instead of how we’d watch the stars,

Thought we’d talk of where we’re from and want to go,

Thought you would look

Into my eyes, and I’d anticipate your lips on mine,

But in those thoughts,

I never thought of this.

And all I could do

Was brush the feathers

Falling from my wings,

Up against your cold, naked, body,

As you forced your way inside me,

My refusal out of your mind, until you asked-

Is this your first time?

Yes, I said, yes it is and I don’t know what to do.

You pulled away, looked ashamed, though I’m not sure

What changed.

My heart, though it beat faster,

Was still coursing the same blood through my veins,

My chest still rose and fell with each breath,

and my skin, the skin you touched,

Ran your fingers over

but never stopped to feel.

My skin was as warm as before.

 

But now that memory lays dormant,

For enough time has passed for me to find

How I could trap you in this poem,

and discover why

Some animals are better caged.

Author's Note

Any and all critiques or comments are welcome and appreciated!

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

Although this poem is well constructed in flow and
verse, it is terribly sad. Just heartbreakingly sad.
I am so sorry for this victim of lost innocense.
Yes, some animals are better kept in a cage.
----- Eagle Cruagh

[Potter]

This is original and very well done. I like the wording and the creativity.

[Eagle Cruagh]

How I could trap you in this poem.
Fantastic line, great observation.
Your predator seems to have hoisted
himself on hiw own pitard. All readers,
I`m sure are solidly rooting for you .
Great poem and great writing.
Thank you,
---- Eagle Cruagh

[bob, small b. aka invs]

this was a little painful to read. no doubt even more painful to live through.
for me, a lot of the time i can't close an issue till it is written. and often i need to find a metaphor in order to make sense of things. it looks as if that's more or less what you're doing here. i hope the process of writing is as cathartic for you as it is for me.

[.R.P.]

We are all animals. Some produce and some consume. You definitely have your story arc here, you are light on metaphor though, for my taste anyway.

"Was brush the feathers Falling from my wings,"

was absolute beauty but I wanted more of that. For you to make something beautiful about something not quite-so is the only poetic requirement you owe yourself, and keep in mind you owe the critic (me for instance) nothing, save for an explanation as to why I don't get it. Does that make sense?

I noticed there was an air of minimalism in the first stanza, short lines, abrupt breakage & breath, any particular reason? The remaining stanzas hold a lot of meat and say a lot of things, your breakage keeps them from being too dense and hence keeps them in a poetic realm as opposed to prose, but the rhythm created in the first stanza isn't necessarily with the same continuity as say your arc throughout the piece. I am looking forward to reading the rest of these.

cheers

[Sami Khalil]

Some animals are better caged.
Well penned.

[Christie]

Thank you. :-)

[Sami Khalil]

You are quite welcome.

[.]

I love this so much, your honesty is brilliant in this poem. I live the last line the best:) Great job.

[Christie]

This poem, because of it's content, was hard to write, but as Robert Frost said, "no tears in the writer, no tears in the reader." I'm really happy you liked it. Thanks so much, Cord. :-)

[.]

You're welcome:)

[Persephone]

MAN.....intense! You have a great talent...I am amazed....keep writing, this is awesome! The poem flows and tells a story.....makes you feel like your in it too - heavy emotion here - thank you for sharing

[Christie]

Wow, how incredibly kind of you. I'm flattered to hear it hit you as intensely as I was hoping it would hit. Thank you so much!