Losing Love

"But the absence of him is everywhere I look. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. But in a way I'm glad. The pain is my only reminder that he was real..."- Bella

I'll get over you, I'll do whatever it takes,

Losing you, and losing me, is my mistake;

I let it go on for far too long,

And I'm done crying to all those sappy love songs;

My heart is broken at its core,
I can't bare to feel this pain anymore.

I'm the one who left, 

and I'm the one who regrets.

My whole life revolved around you,

I thought we something special, soul mates whose love is true.

Never thought it would ever really be over.

I wanted it to be, I wanted to be over you, getting married was a cover.

A cover for what I really felt for you, I tried to run, tried to hide,

I didn't want to deal with how hard our relationship was, and I never tried.

I loathed the idea of never having a Christmas, but not having you is worse.
You were my best friend, and without you I'm just a walking corpse.

My insanity has hit it's end, I feel nothing except pain,

At night I dream of us together, holding you; in the morning, tears fall like rain.

Mixed emotions plague me like a disease,

spreading to every corner of my body consuming me; I beg it to cease.

First jealousy, the things you do for your girlfriend, is how I wanted us to be.

Then pain, wishing I could redo it all, so you could still be with me.

Then anger because you didn't do those things, and I give my own reasons,

like you didn't care about me, and then I make a list of your cons.

Then sad because I remember your pros, and all the good times we shared,

and I realize that you did really care.

Last but not least comes suicidal because all that is left is a pain in my heart,

it's empty, and feels nothing else, except a longing for us not to be apart.

I've lost three best friends in my life, my first because we changed so much,

the other because she moved, I moved, and we failed to keep in touch,

and lastly you, and that's from my own stupidity,

I created this world in my head, my wants, expectations, a false reality. 

Something you learn later on in life when it's too late,

is money and materials things can not make you happier than a soulmate, 

and if you screw up so bad to lose them forever,

you'll spend the rest of your existence wishing you were together.
Because that bond is something you can't fix, replace, or buy new, 

it's something to be cherished, saved, and remain pure and true.

Author's Note

Since this is just an emotional piece for me, if something doesn't rhyme right like cons and reasons, you don't have to tell me... I know.

Reviews

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Its yours , no need to correct anything .... its just out of your heart , very nice :)