Chapter One

just read it!!! (corrected version)

As she slipped me the money for the bag of pot I had just handed her I looked up for the first time since we had started talking. “You look pretty today,” I smiled grimly and continued on, “too bad you're wasting it getting stoned.” I sighed, remembering the girl I use to be in love with and looking into those same eyes and seeing a complete stranger looking back.

I turned and walked away just in time for a hot tear to escape the waterfall forming behind my eyelids and slip down my cheek without Dillan seeing. I didn't even bother to wipe it away, so many people had seen me cry in the past few months that anyone who even noticed would just take it as me having another breakdown. However, this wasn't just another breakdown, this was that special kind of breakdown. The kind that usually led to me sitting on the bathroom floor next to a bottle of pills and a knife.

“Linn, are you okay?” Adriana's voice filled with concern quickly and as I slowly raised my head I suddenly realized I was standing in the middle of the hallway, tears pouring down my cheeks. 

I leaned up against the locker of whom I didn't know and wiped the tears away furiously. “Yeh, I'm fine,” I lied in a monotone voice. By the expression painted on Adriana's face I knew she could tell I wasn't. The truth was, I hadn't been okay for a long time. 

She wrapped her thin arms around my shaking body and held me until I had calmed down. “What's her issue now?” Nick asked looking at me as Adriana let go.

“Screw off,” Adriana replied in a protective, older-sister sounding tone. I couldn't help but notice how pretty she looked today. 

Adriana's perfectly straightened, deep brown hair was in a side-pony and a big blue bow was placed above her bangs. She must have caught me admiring her beauty because she gave me a strange look and then giggled the way she always does when I do things she doesn't understand.

“Come on, Linn, we're going to be late” I heard Adriana call as she headed into the Math room. For at least a second I had almost forgot about Dillan and I's little moment, and once that second was gone my heart continued to break into tiny pieces.

I turned the corner to see those beautiful hazel eyes staring at me. Dillan had the most amazing eyes. When she was mad they turned to more of a turquoise color but on normal occasions, her eyes were a green shade of brown, (not the olive-poop green color though,) with specks of gold, little squiggles of blue towards her pupil and a ring of brown around the outside. I met her gaze and replied with a desolate 'I-wish-things-weren't-like-this' expression. I then placed my sight on the blue, heavy traffic carpet and continued my way on to class.

All through class I thought of Dillan. I wondered silently to myself if she had been standing there the whole time. I envisioned her new self. The one that liked straightening her shoulder-length blonde hair. The one that enjoyed putting on eyeliner and then suddenly I remembered the Dillan I had fallen in love with. The one who would run out of bleach and just leave her roots platinum blonde while the rest of her hair was a sandy beach color because she didn't really give a damn what everyone thought and she didn't want to waste her time going to get more bleach. The girl I could call at 4a.m. because I had a dream something happened to her and not have to worry about her picking up the phone stoned off her a*s. I missed that girl. Correction, I didn't just miss that girl: part of me died when that girl left.

Reviews

[Vera Fnk]

I really like this! Well done