Divine at the 23rd Hour

There are so many words in so many languages,

but I'm still yet to find one,

to describe the way I feel about you,

and tell me,

do you see it love,

when you look in the mirror,

do you see the beauty staring back at you,

and are you aware of your capability to stop my heart,

or how shiver endusing your kiss is,

darling you're a perfect 10,

even in the pitch black light you shine,

not even standing on the sun could imatate the radiation my heart gives off when I see your face,

and inside my head your smile is painted on the back of my eyelids,

and through the insomniatic relation your voice makes my soul melt,

so easy to fall asleep in your grip,

'cause your touch could put me to sleep,

and your lips could wake me from an eternal rest.

Reviews

[Jeff Miller]

This piece has strong emotions that flow off the page into the reader's mind. We can place ourselves into the instances and feel the feelings you express. Great job!

[John W. Herron]

This is very nice. To me, it sounded like something I would here in a song...something R&B-ish or in that manor. No doubt about the strong emotion of love and affection seeping from this piece.

The only thing I really saw off was this line:
"but I'm still yet to find one"

This could work, however it seems more of a slang to me. If this is what you were set to accomplish, good job! In my eyes, "but I've still yet to find one" would sound a bit more on point.

Very good work!