Little Girl

Little Girl

A little girl lost in her own world

Thoughts consumed by her wondrous mind,

A body frightened with fear,

and her eyes sore from streaming  tears,

Her stomach swollen with starvation,

A mother not yet to appear,

Her clothes are dirty and stained

Her father had died in vein,

she has stood to stand strong,

She has loved for freedom,

She has given to give,

and had lost some battles,

Her knees bruised yellow and green,

her hands cut from falling,

her heart broken and split from loss

Little girl, why are you lost?

Why're you thoughts consumed by your wondrous mind?

Is it because you fear? That your eyes were swollen?

Your stomach was swollen with starvation,

I hand you a gift,

Your mother not yet to appear,

I have adopted you,

Your clothes are dirty and stained,

I have new ones,

Your father has died in vain,

But your father has left you,

She has stood to stand strong,

She has loved for freedom,

She has given to give,

and had lost some battles,

Your knees cut and bruised,

I will clean and kiss it better,

your hands cut from falling,

I will bandage them,

Your heart is broken from loss,

and I will mend it together again

Author's Note

Open to all feedback :)

Reviews

[Cyrus Cummings]

deeply moving and poignant. It portrays the struggles and resilience of a young girl facing immense hardships. The imagery of her physical and emotional wounds, combined with the compassionate voice offering care and support, creates a powerful narrative of suffering and hope. The poem ultimately conveys a message of resilience and the importance of kindness and empathy.

[sonnie ibadah]

we all go through our own fair share of pain and heartbreak and the thought of having somebody come pick us up, hold us close and tell us they'll love us through it all is very beautiful and encouraging. Nice write!

[JC]

Has a very lyrical feel, like it could transition well to a song. A beautiful poem of hardship, determination and the possibilities of a better future. Very Inspirational.

Some notes,

Her father had died in vein, (vain)

Is it because you fear? That your eyes were swollen? Maybe take out first question mark.

A body frightened with fear, - might be good to change frightened to another word, like trembling, as frightened and fear have the same meaning.

That your eyes were swollen?- maybe change swollen to another word as swollen is already used for starvation 2x.

Your stomach was swollen with starvation,
I hand you a gift,- is the gift food?

Your clothes are dirty and stained,
I have new ones, - new ones for her?

Your father has died in vain,
But your father has left you,- has 'left' you? or 'is still with you' ?