Minds Unsetting

In the eyes of his feelings "Words I never said, forgetting what I meant, trying to pretend, but I do care, its upsetting, I'm fine one minute and then I'm regretting"

He walks into the other room, sits down and he picks up a broom

says honey, baby, honestly what did I do?

Pictures of her on the wall, standing tall

but she can't get the words out of her mouth, after everything they

went through , things just started to go south, he looks at her,

and looks away, I'm not living like this, I can't stay, its been days

and you're not feeling the same, every day working hard trying

to survive, its a game, sweat and blood pouring

leaving stains, it rains

and shes still standing there saying I'm the blame,

departing now and I'm starting to feel the rage,

inflame, trying to be tame, I wanted her to take my maiden name

Insane, I can't remain the same, she left me alone, cold and ashamed

but its the real me now, none of you appeal to me now,

break down and kneel to me now,

feel around for the dead men you just left just around,

I ain't even joking now, you're choking now, unloading now

sorta feeling broken now? Well I'm smoking now, take a bow

you were feeling just great until now, the truth is all out, and

I'm gonna let you loose, go have fun with your cranberry juice,

and your hair mousse, its just me against the world and I' ll take

that against any girl, less of an expense, no incense, no repent

and no prevent

Words I never said, forgetting what I meant, trying to pretend, but I do care,

its upsetting, I'm fine one minute and then I'm regretting, I'll try resetting

its like betting on table that won't win, fretting another label later on realize

I'm unstable, life’s rude, leaving me to try to enable, a backpack of food and a

fable, I'm not innocent or significant, I'm not false I don't need imprisonment

you're just a deranged use for an instrument which is actually equivalent for a

scientific insolent, a coincidence? I don't care anymore, I don't want to fight

everyday and have a war, be with who you want, and get your reward, just

remember you broke the rules of the lord

Author's Note

Sorry for the image my computer was having issues saving pictures.

Reviews

[@zeewhykay]

This is brilliant.. No true form, just ink to portray thoughts and emotions. Breaking the norms. Some might say it sounds like a rap/rant. To me, it sounds like dried blood on a white page. Nothing could seem more "real". It might touch different people in different ways. Personally, every single line and specifically chosen word seemed to just fit in with itself. It felt like this piece was written for me on this day. I am happy I fell on this.

"its upsetting, I'm fine one minute and then I'm regretting, I'll try resetting
its like betting on table that won't win"

Oh... how perfectly familiar this sounds...

I praise your talent. Cheers !

[Demii]

Thank you so much for you're kind feedback it really touched me and gave me goosebumps! Thank you so much! I'm going to read some of your work now!

[Jackson H. Harley]

Love this :) great flow and pace, full of emotion with a hint of darkness, great piece :)

[Lacuna Badtz]

I like the harshness in the narrator's voice, it is very fitting for this peace. With how the words are cut out it almost seems like the could be a good rap or fast paced song. Great job :)

[Demii]

Thanks alot, I put personal feeling into it. & Thank you I was hoping so!

[Lacuna Badtz]

no problem! an d it reallyshows. thank you for reviewing my poem as well :)

[Demii]

Thank you so much ! xo & anyday I really liked it :)

[stars are far]

this is so amazing..i loved this >>"I don't want to fight
everyday and have a war, be with who you want, and get your reward, just
remember you broke the rules of the lord"

very well written..i can relate to it..

[Demii]

aweh thankyou so much, Im glad! & Thankyou :) xo

[stars are far]

my pleasure :) keep writing :)

[Demii]

Thank you :)

[Spacecadet]

This started out pretty and poetic and as it gained momentum, seemed like more of a rap. Love the deep, dark emotion in this. Made me feel things :)

[Demii]

Aweh Thankyou, I was hoping to aim it that way. Thanks alot, and I'm glad :)

[Holly]

Great poem... I love the rhythm. It's almost like a song.

[Demii]

Thank you & I was aiming that way :)