Glorious Liar

A liar to be

 

You lie to people as you see them

But you lost and will never win

As you lied thoroughly through

Everyone could see you right threw you

Not listening to your desperate stories

So you get your theriotical glories

Have your fun with your drmatic ways

As you people see through it, beaming rays

As you try to fake your way

Others see your lies, and walk away

The blame you set upon me

As you get more desperate atempts

Spincyness of the truth

Starts burning your friend

You fake your way to friendship

Shed your false tears, and quiver your lip

We see you as a liar

No matter what you desire

You no longer matter to us

No go away, you must

We're tired of your cold heart

So now you're going to fall apart

As you fall to the ground

We all laugh, as you drown

So stop your lies

And your fake cries

Sooner or later; you're going to die

Author's Note

Re edited once.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

No reason for lies. Just twist you up till we can't see the truth. A outstanding poem. I like the story and the ending was very good.
Coyote

[Spilled Her Guts in Cur..]

I loved this. Powerful and bitter especially the last line was a great final punch. keep writing!

[Gandré]

poweful stuff! this was flowing nicely. thanks for your words while reading my darkness piece.
gandr�

[Eddywards]

I have no word powerful enough to describe this. that's how good it is to me. Keep writing, you'll go far

[Jessica Fox]

Excellent poem what more can I say.

[BROXEN REFLEXEN]

Good subject as well as description. Try not to worry about the rhyme scheme so much and I think you will find your imagery much more pleasent. Couplets work, but only in their right context. Keep up the good work.

[Michael]

I think we have all come across false friends now and then. They can damage us most as we are left unprotected from their schemes. Your use of couplets give it a staccato feel in the flow that makes it seem like a stream of emotions pouring out of you. Give a work constructed of couplets a dramatic feel is hard to do and that you have done nicely.

Now for a few technical points to thing on - on two couplets you did break rhyme.

Think about changing stanzas:

You blame me for your faults
Then try to buy people with that helplessness
You take the truth and spice it up
But it gets to hot for us

to something like:

Then your faults you blame on me
and show to others this inequity
You take the truth and add some rot
a spice that makes truth too hot

Of course, that is just a quick idea for example.

As you end with a tercet, it might work better to add a line break before the last line and add "..." to the line before for more of a dramatic pause like this:

So stop your lies
And your fake cries...

Sooner or later you're going to die

[Grey]

wow. that was a good poem. i like how well it describes the liar. i always love most poetry about actual people [like this one!] , and this one really cuts through to the heart of the liar. you get a great feel for that person you obviously hate so much. i love the line "you fake your way to friendship". it reminds me of so many people....