Chapter 1

this is the first attempt.

Have you ever thought about running away? Do you find yourself wondering how many people would miss you if you were to leave for good? What about how many people would cry if you were to die? Or at least have them cry because they believed you were dead. For if they were to know the truth, their lives would become so much more complicated than they could ever imagine.
    For me personally running away and getting kidnapped by such a nice stranger named Nash Delano was the easy part. The after effects of what Nash had done to me, unbearable. Having the thirst for blood constantly burning my throat, sometimes makes me to put a stake through my own heart. Listening to people shed fake tears for you at your funeral isn’t too much fun either. Kind of makes you wish you could break the rules, just once and suck them all dry. But if I were to break the rules, I’d end up dead, actually dead, and I rather not be lying somewhere six feet under the ground. Though I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t realize you’re in a box with a bunch of dirt on top of you, the idea still gives me goose bumps not actual goose bumps the undead can’t get those.
    “Blake! Blake!” Nash was waving his hand in my face trying to get my attention.
    “Huh?” I said coming back into reality.
    “I said are you ready?” he asked.
    I sighed. “Yes Nash, I am ready….So what’s the plan again?”
    “You know what? Just forget it, I’ll do this all by myself and you can just sit here and wait.” He was getting very impatient.
    It really wasn’t my fault that thoughts run through my head, and that he got boring when he talked about his plans. Those plans usually get us into trouble, being undead isn’t as cool as it is cracked up to be, and you just walk around for all eternity doing practically nothing, except thinking of ways to either torment humans or save them. It just depends on what side of the darkness you are on. You could say I was on the good side of the darkness and that’s all because of my gracious creator Nash.
    “Blake, you need to stop ignoring me or else you’re going to get hurt.” He said, his eyes pleading with mine.
    “I know what I’m doing; I’m a big girl and can handle myself. I promise.” I said smirking at him.
    “If you die for good,” he shot me a death glare. “I’m killing you.”
    I saluted him like he was a marine. “Yes Sir Mr. Nash.”
    We both began laughing until it became uncomfortable. He began to pace back and forth; he suddenly stopped and walked towards me. He placed his hand under my chin forcing me to look him in the eyes.
    “I mean it Blake, please be careful.”  He said kissing my forehead.
    I sighed while removing his hand from my face. “I always am Nash, you know that. Most of the time it’s me getting you out of trouble anyways.”
    He frowned, and I couldn’t help but smile. It was true, on these missions he plans; he is usually the one who finds himself a tight spot. I have only been the damsel in distress once and that was when I was human, I don’t plan on letting it happen again.

Author's Note

Please review as harshly as you can. I want to know all of my mistakes.

Reviews

[Acer]

It's interested. I focused here & saw there's a depth in your words indeed. I think it's a reality. Is it ?

[LostinKristina]

Somewhat, I started writing this more as a diary blog thing and then put characters to it. I don't know if I should continue or not because I'm afraid of letting my mind get to that place again.

[Acer]

I think you should have to continue it. well write it is indeed.

[Caesar Spade]

The first paragraph is awesome. The line of questioning is true but then gets more intense as the paragraph moves on. Makes me scared to hear theses questions.

Hilarious and inventive when you hear about the "fake tears at the funeral."

Then there is an reveal about the world they are coming into: Vampires. It's a nice twist.

I wish that scene could be more prominent because you can actually talk about the character more. How he was viewed in life, who is fake to him, and maybe how he envisions drinking their blood. I don't know. I'm rambling here.

You have a good sense of humor and you use it well to balance the serious scenes.

I'm assuming Blake is a guy. 'cause the name, but then you say damsel and they kiss so they are gay right? Or is that just a special creator/createe relationship?

[zappy]

so all i can say its great .