Baggage ... without an s

Just a quick grammar lesson: baggage is a non-countable noun and thus, cannot be used in the plural by adding s, as in baggages. Yeah, it's one of those special type of nouns.

-------------------------------------------------------

I just got back from a five-hour Taxation class that felt like a gazillion years so I wanted to refresh my mind by looking back and reflecting on the film "Exes Baggage" that I, together with my law school buddies, watched last night -- a last full show that is! 

For those who know me, you might think it absurd if I write about a film on exes when I haven't even been hired into the romantic love department. But sheesh, you don't tell me what to write!

Being an overly adventurous person, it would be easy for me to consider strapping on a zip line ride, travelling anywhere alone, or even sky diving..... but hopping on a journey called love? No thanks.

Hey. Don''t get me wrong. I'm not bitter or anything. Neither do I have a phobia nor a trauma on anything love-related. Is it because of fear, you may ask? No. Call me a busy-body, narcissistic or asexual -- I don't care because these are not the reasons why I prefer to be single at this point of my life. 

It's just simple. I am not ready for such kind of thing. No, not... just..  yet.

And after watching the film, I confirmed that to myself. S**t. I just can't, yet.

Relationships are not only about the cuddling, kissing, landian, -- we all know that; and the movie reminds viewers of that very well. Sweet and happy moments are just part and parcel of a relationship. At the onset, you might feel that you can never be as happy as when are in the midst of 'that' person; you feel that you are truly in love and that you're meant to be..that he/she is the ONE. 

Then one day, problems set in. 

Warm embraces have been replaced with cold shoulders. Lips that naturally met with sweet rhythms suddenly avoided one another. 

You ask yourself why you are 'loved' and 'being kept' by this person -- insecurities start to creep in. You start to question why you are together and even come up and blind yourself with your own reasons. You say and do things that hurt one another. You complicate even the simplest problems and even if something shouldn't be treated as a problem in the first place. 

If there's failure in embracing one another's total being, and this includes the baggage that are carried along in this love flight-- flaws, problems, differing views, backgrounds and personalities, a relationship will definitely not work. The only way is to huddle your way out either by leaving or letting the other person leave. Both persons will definitely not have the will and strength to hold on.

Well, I am well aware of these realities. At the same time, I am not ready to fully commit to these realities. Given my nature, when I decide to do something, I make sure that I am wholly committed. There can be mishaps along the way, yes, but if I'm mentally, emotionally and spiritually ready, I believe that I'll be able to take on any challenge or risk that comes forth with loving. I may break down at times (especially that I don't really have a good temper and I tend to be impatient so I still need to work on this), but not badly. I can make sound decisions. I can comfortably talk things out, save each others' faces, be cool, open and mature about things. 

SPOILER: Nix and Pia's too-good-to-be-true relationship did not work out because of their exes baggage. Nix entered into a relationship with Pia when he has not fully moved on with his "almost-wifey" ex while Pia had  been extremely bothered by some serious internal issues that rooted from her past relationships. For me, they did fall in love; but did so not because they were ready, but because they were lonely. Lonely from the exes and life baggage, as a whole. But hey, still, they did love, and can still love (Boy, I love the hanging ending!)  

I, too, have a fair amount of life baggage-- I'm still working on my self, my goals, my character, and on some external and internal issues. Contrary views would say, "You don't need to be ready for you to love. We just fall in love when it happens." In a way, that can be truly exciting. However, my idea of love is not that of a romanticist's. Yes, relationships start with falling in love, but in the end, shall it lead to ultimately loving? 

I want to be ready... so I can be stronger for him. ... for us. 

... so there'd be no turning back. 

... so what we have is worth holding on to.

Oh dear #adulting has indeed hit me hard, and I know to myself now that what my heart yearns for is a genuine, strong and everlasting relationship (if ever...). 

That's why, to Mr. X, when it's the right time to conquer the journey with you, I know that we'll be carrying with us our own baggage (in plural form) that we probably cannot count. Nevertheless, we'll still travel light because we are both impregnable enough to embrace them as we go together. 

For now, I have work on my "taxes baggage" first. We were given by our prof a lot of tax problems to solve. Oh, life!