THE HIRED HIT

Katrina, Marion, Prince, and Fleana gets a job after losing cable for a week, but they find out quickly that they might not be cut out for it.

I. KATRINA

After being grounded for about three weeks, my friends and me were finally able to watch TV. You know it’s true what they say. You never know what you got until it’s taken away from you after you burn your neighbor down with a rocket.

I turned the channel to my favorite show just as Marion retreated to the bathroom.

“I told you worms I’m clean!” The woman told the mafia after searching her.

The boss took drag from his cigar. “Don’t get snippy, sweetheart. We haven’t checked everywhere.”

The woman put up her defenses.

“Joey. Check that broad’s shirt.”

As the much taller man approached the woman, she slid her hand behind her back where her gun was nestled in her bra and…static.

“No…” I changed channels, but it was pointless. The cable’s out. “Styx!”

“Are you kidding me?!” Fleana almost dropped the popcorn. “Prince fix it!”

“Fix what?” He told her. “The cable company? Look we have the internet. Let’s go see if we can catch the show there.”

“Alright.” Fleana whined.

We tried to use the computer in the back room, but my mom was already using it. Considering that it’s my mother, what she’s doing must be serious.

“Um, mom?” I inquired. “Are you busy?”

“Well…” She took off her glasses. “I was just calculating the budget, and let’s just say we’re in a hole.” She dangled her pen at the three of us. “We need to talk. Where’s Marion?”

“In the bathroom.”

“Marion, could you come in here please?” Mother rose from her chair and stalked to the bathroom, which began smoking. “Smoke? But no heat. Marion?”

“Guys, what’s the name of the show?” Fleana impatiently clicked the search engine.

“Seriously, Mammatus?” I sneered at her.

Mom kicked the door down.

“Storm!” I heard Marion yell and spraying what I assumed was air freshener. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here.” Mother told him. “A good question would be what are you doing in my bathroom?”

“Uh…smoking?”

I materialized beside my mother, but instead of finding a cigarette between my friend’s fingers, I found a miniature bonfire erupting from his palm.

“What? My dad does it all the time.”

“Um, Storm?” Fleana peaked her head through the door. “Did you need that paper full of numbers. I think I x’d it out.”

“I told you to look at WebFilms.” Prince told her.

“You have to pay for that.”

Mom jabbed a finger toward the living room. “Room. Now!”

II. MARION

Storm had us sitting on the couch as she paced back and forth for a minute. She was making me nervous, so I held up my hand and willed it to catch fire.

“Marion,” Storm’s voice almost sounded like thunder. “if you set my couch on fire, so help me I’ll zap off both of your palms.”

I jabbed my hand into my pocket.

Finally, Storm managed calm down. “Look, none of you do anything around here, except cost money. It’s kinda getting under my skin.”

“No wait!” Prince pointed at me. “He does something. He smokes.”

“He smokes because he doesn’t have anything productive to fill his time with.”

“Yeah, Marion!” Fleana accused.

“You don’t either Fleana.” Susan, Fleana’s sister, stood in the kitchen door.

“Where’d you come from?”

“When a mommy and a daddy get together in a hotel room--”

“I mean--”

“I need something from Caroline, a red pen for dishing out some Fs to some failing students, looking your way sis, but that’s not the point here.”

“Thank you Sue. I think the red pen is on the top shelf.” Storm turned her eyes on us. “As for you four, I say it’s time to find something productive to fill your time with. The bill for the damages you made this month was so big, that your parents and I had to pay for it with cable for a week.”

“A week?!” Katrina blurted.

“Yes, young lady, and if you want it back, I suggest you start with a job. And Fleana you can do something other than stare at a screen all day.”

“There’s not much I can do really.” She told mom.

“And maybe I can buy some fresh fruits again, and stop making sauce every other day.”

“Hey, ripe fruit is sweet fruit.” Katrina said.

“But not good fruit.”

“Well,” Susan scraped her bowl clean. “it doesn’t help that you make it so good. I mean look at this. Banana and apple. I mixed these.”

We spent the afternoon typing up our resumes for work. Fortunately, Prince’s dad was cool with us using his computer, since Storm kicked us out of her room so she could redo her budget in peace. Well, if I want to get technical about it, he was very enthusiastic about it. As the printer spat out the last page to our resumes, Aurora peered into the room.

“Hey, fellas. How’s those resumes coming?” He asked.

“Well,” Prince began. “we just printed out the last page. I won’t lie I’m not feeling too confident about it. I think our lack of job experience is going to be a hindrance, but hopefully our skill set will catch some eyes.”

“Well, how about I look at ‘em?”

Prince handed him our papers. After reading them, Aurora raised an eyebrow.

“Well, for starters, you need to do one thing.” He said.

“What?” Prince asked.

“Learn how to make a resume. Son, you guys don’t have a summary, the job to which you are applying for, your skill set are non applicable or rather not worded correctly, and Fleana, I assume this is yours, your name is not on it.”

“I can’t put my name on that!” Fleana pointed at her paper. “There’s a nasty joke in there. Seriously, it’s probably the funniest joke I have ever heard.”

Aurora looked at her paper again. “Yeah, you kiss Cloud with that mouth?”

“Occasionally.”

“Well, let’s work on your skills first.”

“I could do an ollie.” Katrina blurted.

“No, Kat. Working skills like are you an effective communicator, do you have leadership qualities, can you work on a team.” After a moment of silence, Aurora said. “Guys, you gotta put something down here. It’s blank.”

“Alright, alright.” Prince placed his fingers on the keys. “Let’s try this again.”

III. PRINCE

After dad helped us with our resumes, we hitched a ride with Ralph to Juxtapose City to the restaurant where Susan worked, which according to Fleana was always hiring. We would’ve hitched a ride with our siblings, but Nathan, my brother, had already left; Susan didn’t have any room in her car; Matthew and Caroline had a date; and our parents were either asleep beyond waking (dad’s always like that after work) or out grocery shopping so that left the last person on the list.

Ralph burped and tossed the can in the backseat. Lucky, I called shotgun.

“Hey!” Fleana rubbed her nose. “I can’t believe mom let you drive us anywhere.”

“Yeah, well, y’know. How could I say no to her?” Ralph’s fingers gripped the wheel.

Katrina sat up in her seat and raised an eyebrow at him. “You’re afraid she was going to hurt you if you didn’t.”

“Girl please. I ain’t afraid of that tall, serious looking--”

“Ralph. I read your thoughts.”

“And I sense your fear.” Fleana added. “For the last time. We’re not violent.”

“Tell that to the robot you sent after me.” He reminded her.

“That was a malfunction. We junked that thing.”

“And the burns?”

“Hey, you should’ve read the signs.” Marion defended.

“That you leaned where I couldn’t see them!” He fired back.

“Y’know Ralph,” I cut in. “if we were really violent, it would be a very bad idea to irritate us with these accusations.”

That straightened him out. He clammed up and kept his eyes on the road.

Finally, he asked. “Why do you want a job? All it does, it gives you money, high self esteem, and a purpose in life.”

“That’s kinda the point Ralph.” I said.

“You ain’t gonna love that. You gotta stick to what you know, and money will come to you.”

“Sorry, Ralph, but we don’t have an uncle Vinny to go to.”

“You freaking read minds too?”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“If you want you a job. My cousin’s looking for a highly motivated self starter who could, y’know.” Ralph closed his eyes and tilted his head. “Piece of cake.”

I had no idea what that meant, and I didn’t bother to ask.

“Well, why don’t you do it?” Marion asked.

“Come on, man.” Ralph tapped his watch. “You see my jewelry. Last time I went to lock up, this watch barely made it up my crack. Was bleeding for a month, had to get stitches…I don’t think I could do it again.”

“Alright. Stop here.” Fleana pointed to a big red building.

Just as were getting out of his car, Ralph stopped us. “Wait.” He held up a few beer cans. “Drink this. Trust me I had a job. These will make the time fly by.”

“Ralph.” Katrina said. “We’re underage physically and chronologically.”

Ralph raised an eyebrow. “And?”

“And we don’t want to smell like cheap beer when we request an interview.” Marion explained.

“Well, okay goodie two-shoes. I’ll just leave them out by the dumpster just in case you need to go ‘get something out of your car’.”

Honestly, my friends and I had been here before last year, clearing out some Bio-mach (science gone wrong at its finest) but I didn’t think anybody would remember us. I was dead wrong.

The staff turned deathly pale the minute we stepped into the restaurant, and quickly stated that they weren’t hiring when we asked to apply. I could’ve sworn I saw someone tear off a “Now Hiring” sign off the window from the corner of my eye. The most blunt response we gotten from one of them was “We already hired one of your kind here. People need to know that this is a human restaurant, not a BioticAbiotic one.” At least they were kind enough to give us a table. Susan promised to put it on her tab for at least trying.

“Don’t feel bad guys.” Susan told us. “It’s harder for BioticAbiotics to get jobs in the human world.”

“Well, how did you get hired?” Fleana asked.

“Let’s just say human or BioticAbiotic, everybody loves candy.”

Susan left to go put our order in just as Ralph came by to sit in our booth. He only agreed to wait as long as his meal was paid for.

“Say, Ralph?” I asked. “How illegal is that job your cousin offered?”

IV. FLEANA

“You want us to hit a man?” I asked.

“Just enough for him to hit the floor.” Ralph explained.

“Oookay, so at worst that’s assault. I could see why you went to jail.” Katrina said.

“Yeah, but don’t worry,” Ralph giggled. “you’ll be covered.”

“Oh, so your cuz is gonna take care of the damages?” Marion asked.

Susan came back with our food, a big tray full of ten boxes of french fries, ten boxes of chicken tenders, four glasses of OJ and a tall glass of beer, and three big steaks with two baked potatoes. In case you’re wondering about the massive intake, BioticAbiotics have really fast metabolisms when it comes to human food. I could probably say the same for Ralph. I don’t know how he could fit three steaks and baked potatoes into his stomach.

“Heh, heh.” Ralph chuckled. “Looks like you’re enjoying the benefits of working there.”

Susan put on a fake smile. “Hey, Ralph.”

Ralph held up a card. “Guess who gets a free dessert? Swipe that for me will you, hun?”

“Why certainly, sir.” Susan managed to take the card without breaking his arm. “Did you leave those beer cans behind the dumpster, again?”

“No, they’re long gone. Gotta be quicker next time.”

Susan rolled her eyes. “So what are you guys talking about?”

“Ralph’s cousin has a job for us to do.” I told her.

“What kind of job?”

“He wants us to hit someone.”

Susan raised her eyebrows. “W-wait guys! That job. I-it isn’t for you.”

“Why? We hit people before. I don’t think it hurts that much.”

“Ralph! These guys can’t hit anybody they have the nerve of ten year olds.”

“Ten year olds hit people Sue.”

“Hey, doll face!” Some husky woman called behind the employee’s door. “Get your perky butt back here. There’s flying rats back here.”

“Looks like you’re needed ‘doll face’” Ralph teased.

“Get the rat poison! It’s in the kitchen, in the closet.”

“I’ll see you later.” Susan turned her back. “And Fleana, if you do this, I’ll have to call mom. And she won’t be happy. Oh, and don’t try anything with mayonnaise.”

“Then how am I going to eat this?” Ralph called after her.

I made a face. “Okay. Who do we hit and where do we hit them?”

“This is him.” Ralph held up a picture of a balding man hiding his eyes behind shades. “Mr. Vicino. You’ll find him at the La Pasta on thirty-third at seven. You take care of him and this conversation never happened…but do tell your sister to bring that mayonnaise. These potatoes’ll taste like crap if I don’t some kind of flavor on it.”

Katrina took the picture. “I can’t believe your cousin is willing to pay a mil for such a small task.”

“But hey we’ll get cable.” Marion remarked.

Ralph giggled. “You guys pay for cable? Heh-heh. You’re stupid.”

We met up with each other at La Pasta. I was so nervous. I really don’t like violence. I just do it when I have to, like when someone tries to kill me, but here I was trying to make a quick buck.

Marion gripped my bicep. “Stop shaking.”

I nodded. “Sure.”

“It’s just a hit.” Katrina cracked open the door, giving us a glimpse of Mr. Vicino sitting between two large men. “It shouldn’t be…that hard.”

Her mood told me she needed her ankles taped. Prince might as well be as white as snow instead of brown. Marion was obviously apathetic, which told me enough that he was actually scared.

“So, uh, that’s the guy, right?” Marion asked.

“Uh-huh.” I said. “That’s him. Mr. Vicino.”

“Uh, guys?” Prince interrupted, but I decided to finish my thought before I lost my nerve.

“So I just walk up to him, put my hand across his ear, and then apologize and get paid.”

“Guys.”

“What spikes? What?” Katrina slanted her eyebrows, her fingers arced with electricity.

“Listening to the plan out loud makes me think of something. What if we got the wrong idea?”

“Excuse me?” I asked.

Prince crossed his arms. “When Ralph said ‘hit’, what if what he meant"I mean, what if he didn’t mean ‘hit’ as in hit, but ‘hit’ as in kill?”

My jaw touched my chest. Katrina looked almost beige. Even Marion lost a little color.

“What?!” I shouted. “Oh, my"we are so dumb.”

“What was Ralph thinking?” Katrina said. “We’re kids, not assassins.”

“Hit men, eh?” A voice said in a thick Italian accent.

Just as I thought we couldn’t get any lighter, our skin turned a whole other shade as we noticed Mr. Vicino standing behind us along with the two big men.

Mr. Vicino blew a ring of smoke. “What’ve you heard?”

I could only yelp.

“Heh, heh. Don’t worry, we’ll unseal those lips.”

The men pulled out a couple of rifles and jabbed them at our noses. I wish I had a gun and a bra right about now.

“Come on, tough guys.” One of the directed us toward the trunk of a car. “Let’s take a ride.”

My hands were tied, so were my friends’. “Okie dokie.”

I certainly wasn’t going to disagree with big men armed with guns and pipes. We crammed into the truck, ending up in some uncomfortable positions. It didn’t help that we had a guest with us.

As we cruised down somewhere, I couldn’t help but envision all the horrible things I was gonna do to Ralph if I ever got loose. However bad I thought they were, it was nothing compared to what mom would do to me when she finds out about this.

I was scared and agitated, and the liquid that was coming from the guy, which I hoped was water or pee, was soaking my shirt, but for some reason my tone didn’t match my mood.

“Hey, this is a nice car.” I didn’t know what I was saying. “Except for the guy pushing against my liver. Yeah, he’s real wet.”

“Oh, God!” Katrina realized. She pushed something and fresh light bathed my face. “Um, sorry.”

And just like that, the light disappeared.

We finally stopped and the thugs dragged us out of the car. We were back at our apartment.

The guy at the desk apparently didn’t have a problem three men guiding four kids to the elevator. Though to be fair, he’s probably seen weirder things.

“So, uh, this here is the guy.” Mr. Vicino asked.

Ralph stuck his scared little head out of the curtains of his window. He was shaking so much that I almost didn’t want to rat him out…almost.

“Yep. That’s him.” I told Mr. Vicino. “Standing there in the window, looking all scared.”

“Yelp. He should be.” Mr. Vicino said.

“Five-ten.” Prince described.

“Brown hair.” Marion added.

“White guy.” Katrina helped.

“He looks real white now.” I noted just as Ralph folded the curtains and turned off the lights.

“Look don’t take this the wrong way,” Mr. Vicino and his men pulled out and cocked their guns. “but I’m tired of talking to ya.”

“Bad move.” Aurora stood at his door casually drinking water with Storm. Mom stood at her door with her arms crossed.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t do that.” Storm smiled, but it wasn’t one of those friendly smiles.

The mobsters almost dropped the guns when my mom turned her gaze toward them, but she wasn’t looking at them. Her eyes were directed at me, forcing mine to look right at them.

“Get inside.” She commanded.

I didn’t even say a word. I scuttled passed her and into the living room as she close the door behind her. If I knew my friends well enough, they probably did the same. To their own rooms that is.

I found my sister on the couch with her arm wrapped in bandages watching TV.

“Hey.” She said without taking her eyes off the screen.

“Hey. Wait the Tv’s back on.” I noticed. “When did that happen?”

“Well, I bought Ralph a six pack. He drank it. Then he managed to climb up some pole down the street and hooked up the cable. He’ll be expecting the cops to come by some time tomorrow.”

I managed to suppress a giggle. I had a feeling mom was gonna ban laughter.

“So how was work?” I asked instead.

Sue rubbed her bandaged arm. “Well, I got bit by one of those flying rats, freaked out some customers, failed the inspection so my paycheck is gonna take a hit, mom had to give me rabies shots, and now I’m tired.” She made air quotes. “How was your job?”

“Oh…” I heard guns going off as well the sickening sound of bodies hitting the floor. “in progress. I need to get in as much TV as I could get.”

The gunshots stopped and everything got quiet. “Well, I guess it’s over now. Maybe I should go thank Ralph.”

“Give it a couple of days.” Susan warned.

Author's Note

What do you think of the dialogue?