Your slowly killing me and you dont even know it.

A 16 year old self harsm to take the anger away and pain.

You embarrass me

i cant do anything about it

You laugh at me

i cant do anything about it

 

You shout at me

i cant do anything about it

You argue with me

i cant do anything about it

 

Suddenly i find a way

to let out the anger and pain

A sharp tool, i see before me

blood dripping off my arm i can see

 

the blood drips onto the floor

the pain and anger i feel no more

Until the next time

its like dai ja vu

 

Inside i am slowly and painfully dying

you cant see my pain or anger

i choose not to show it

slowly you are killing me

emotionally, mentally and physically

 

Your slowly killing me

Its a shame you dont even know it

 

Author's Note

Let me know what you think thanks

Reviews

[SpokenWord]

I had two friends who use to cut all the time, one almost cut too deep and had to be taken to emergency. It is something many people don't discuss but many people do suffer from. Your poem gives us that brief look into someones mind who is suffering from this. great write.

[Madison A. Wright]

emotional and depressing at the same time.. i could never bring myself to cut. But have had friends do it... i guess i just never understood it... but i have felt this way.. felt dead, invisible, best thing you can do is remove urself and move on... its amazing how alive you feel and how many friends welcome you back!

[Shardbearer99]

What I have found by reading these particular types of stories/poems, is that slashing oneself seems to have become a very common trait amongst young people that are struggling to pull it together; whether by family dysfunctionality, or being bullied. It's very sad to see how people think that cutting oneself is a way to release the pain. All they need is someone to show them a life of happiness, that doing that to themselves is hazardous and unhealthy. Your poem is very powerful and emotional; it really got me hooked and it was very enjoyable. You put a lot of feeling in to creating this. Thank you for sharing

[Rose Masen]

Intense. Emotional. Heart breaking. Excellent write.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Very well descriptive! Solid write!

[+Naomi+]

Woah...I feel bad for the person. I like the poem but the second verse isn't really needed. The poem is imaginative and I can visualize it well. You did an awesome job, all in all. Great work, keep writing

[Zoe Jay]

Did you de-capitalize the "i"'s on purpose? It's interesting because I think it shows that you see yourself as small or insignificant. I'm just not sure if you were purposely trying to represent this by choosing not to capitalize "I" in this poem, of if it is a subconscious thing. If it is subconscious then you should try not to do it, because it will impact your self-esteem. If it's on purpose then it's a clever way of enhancing the feel of the poem.

I think you could lose the second verse without unduly damaging the feel of the poem. Always trim where possible, without losing the intention.

You use the same imagery throughout the poem, which gives the poem intensity - "blood, pain, dying, killing, anger". This poem does not let up in its' assault on the reader. It's brief but expressive and shows the ability to write strongly and honestly. The concluding lines are very good, and I like the refrain feel of the opening. Lots of potential here. Could maybe use a little polish but very solid write.